The Love Journey of Lakshmi
I believe a question nobody really thinks about.
At least I never spent any second thinking of it.
Until it came my way.
When I was thinking about it for the first time I realized it is something we take for granted.
Perhaps that is a bit too harsh to say.
I mean, just that it is there, without really realizing what it means.
I think that is closer to reality.
My vision when it comes to men is dark as days and I will tell you why.
They told me lies for their own sake.
Put blame on my shoulder, to avoid taking their responsibility.
Named me names and spread them for people to hear someone I wasn’t.
Went behind my back with another girl or tried to be with me while they were already involved.
Used me as a shield for their own protection.
Making me feel worthless by the words they used.
Touched me at places without my consent.
Walked away with my pride, to tell other people how great they were.
Then smiled at me, like nothing ever happened.
One punched me in the face, but I have to say he was gay.
The other thought it was ok to harass me, because he didn’t get his way.
A vivid dream it felt to me, but I think it was more something close to a reality.
One that is out there.
About men that do what they want.
Except giving the love that you deserve.
The man that doesn’t love you.
Not that this is his job, perhaps even in the first place.
Nothing he is aware of, or think he should fulfill.
If at all.
To say, you don’t have to be a prince to receive such a kiss.
And that to me sounds like a journey of love.
To come back at that realization I was having.
After giving that kiss.
I am no princess and I can not turn someone into a prince.
Change him into someone he is not, let me say it like this.
It is the mystery of what Casanova holds.
Perhaps he doesn’t even know himself.
The words alone are enough to make me find out.
Another experience I’d like to add to find that kiss that belongs to me.
I see it as a piece of myself, as a human being.
You can even put it together as a part of me being a woman.
But as fragile and sensitive as that is.
It is not something that is locked or as the advertisements mention it as something to be unlocking.
Because it is not a lack, but an abundance that is residing in me.
I wasn’t even offended that he said that.
It felt more like a compliment.
I was watching ‘The Crown’.
There were new episodes and it was being promoted on social media for people to watch.
I am not going to name the broadcaster of that show, as I think we all know who that is.
I had ended or paused my account for some time.
I wasn’t watching anything at that moment and to me the options there were then, were too limited.
A cut in my expenses.
Not necessary, but just that it wasn’t worth paying for.
For the simple fact, I wasn’t watching anything.
Why pay for something I am not using?
I can’t really call this person a celebrity.
However he has a lot of followers on Social Media.
A journey he started, according to himself.
Just telling here his own words.
‘That intense journey started when I posted a lot about my life’.
I don’t really know how it went further.
He didn’t really say so much about it.
But it weren’t these words that made me notice him.
It was a post that he got married.
I was going through my own pictures on my phone and saw some video’s I once made.
One was when I was celebrating my 37th birthday.
A little game I played, with people I once knew.
It was actually a drinking game, where questions were asked and then we had to drink at some point.
I don’t really know how it was played, since we decided to just answer the questions.
We had to laugh a lot about it. About the answers.
But it wasn’t much about the questions, answers or the celebration of my birthday.
It was about something that I heard, when watching another video.