I think it is a place close to my heart.
Love is hidden in conversations, meetings and situations.
Just a few examples.
How we think and what we believe.
What we want and crave.
What makes our heart beat or just that we want to listen to some music and sit in silence.
Because when we think and see it like it is connected to male or female, we are missing out on a lot.
On what love truly is about.
What it has in store for us and how we can live a life full of love.
Don’t we all just want that?
The importance of knowing that we know where broken hearts go.
Perhaps even that place in our heart.
An emptiness to fill.
To heal and make it beat again.
For us to return to the part of where love can actually happen.
Already when I was 5 years old I said : ‘He is just not into you’.
Before there was ever a movie made with this title, or pronounced in Sex and in the City by Miranda.
One of the characters in the series.
Or actually I said. ‘He just likes her better’.
And to be real, I said it in Dutch.
‘Hij vind haar gewoon leuker’.
Something I told my best friend then.
The love for a city is something I am talking about in my story “Lisbon Love”.
A marketing trick or just something how it is?
I don’t know.
But what I do know, is that all involves a relation.
Not just with people or animals.
Perhaps even to have a relationship with a city.
It could be.
In my perception it was a long time ago.
However it wasn’t.
It is still a little bit of a dark place in myself.
And that is why I am feeling it like that.
That I am in tune with myself.
I think that is something I can confirm.
If it makes me a better person, I don’t know.
But I am happy that I have come to this kind of place, that I can share it with you.
I wasn’t even offended that he said that.
It felt more like a compliment.
The last days have been weird.
I really can’t put a different word to it.
It was a lost love that made this happen.
Or just a name that I am giving him.
One of many names that I called him.
And for some reason I am feeling a bit sad that this is a name that I have to add to this list of names.
Why I can’t really say.
Just a deeper feeling that something is unfinished.
‘Why are you single?’
This question had been popping up in different ways.
Only because it was showing at least 3 times it made me realize I needed to find an answer.
I told myself that I am letting go of what I am.
Perhaps just for this story, to understand better, what it is I am meaning.
Or that I need a little bit more healing.
It is my mind that has been going back to a couple of years ago.
Where I was in a relationship but didn’t have the strength to let go of that person.