The Love Journey of Lakshmi
This encounter I had with him explains that we can grow as a person by not just following any river.
Rather to cry one and keep it close to our own.
Walking that path where we can see in the dark, rather than taking that leap, without understanding.
It is this sadness that could turn into something positive.
Where this death of what is not able to live, would find its place outside of myself.
For me to be open for this kind of love to happen one day.
To say, to live a life, it is important to have.
A source to live from, to feel good about ourselves. To know we will make it one day rely on the fact that we can bounce back and overcome those hurdles of life that are sometimes a pain in the ass.
‘Let me be your lover’, was appropriate to think.
And I felt it.
So, then I didn’t understand that at one point he came in with her.
His wife now and mother of his child.
I don’t know if he will have more with her.
But ok, I didn’t speak to him for a few months when they came in together.
I understand things can happen.
However, I was surprised.
Nonetheless.
However, the side note I want to make.
The older we get, the more experienced we are getting.
The more experiences we are having.
The good and ugly ones.
The ones we like to forget and perhaps hold some shame around.
But the truth is, with experience comes a package.
Something we can call age even.
Perhaps that is the reason why.
Why we are not able to find love at an older age.
I find it weird to write about it.
And I didn’t even start yet.
I needed a minute to think about, if this was really something I wanted to write about at all.
That minute became a day, or two.
Perhaps even three.
At least it wasn’t that long ago.
And here I am.
But most of all, an interest brings you closer to yourself.
Where the good remains, for people to see who you truly are.
A story about not fitting in, is something I felt appropiate to write.
Because we all do, sometimes.
Or somehow.
The reason this came to my mind, was due something I experienced.
And that is all that I am going to say about it.
The question is not if I fitted in just there.
I just didn’t.
That is the truth about that.
I was trying to be someone, to be part of a crowd.
Many reasons I can give for that.
But what is somehow unknown, is what it does underneath the surface.
All I want to express is what happened to me and that these conditions I had to live in are not a form of love.
She lives on in me and so will I.
It is that I wonder.
Perhaps another question that is rising.
Is the reason that I watch the world go by like this, that I am looking for love?