The Love Journey of Lakshmi
Holes in our souls can be caused by effects outside of ourselves.
I believe this is what I am referring to.
The pain that I was feeling, caused by others, causing me to do more than necessary.
To know that it wasn’t my fault.
The pain we feel, is not always caused by ourselves of something we did.
The contrary even.
I believe most pain we are feeling is not ours in the first place.
And that is a message of love for you to know is out there.
Or at least what we ought to be.
And that can have many meanings.
It is our surroundings that tells us something.
About where we are and where we are going.
What is lacking or something we are wanting.
What we dream of or something we need to let go of.
Perhaps the environment we are in is even more important.
Or at least where it starts.
Just to say that a successful relationship is not a fulfillment when we reach that kind of destination.
Having children or being married. Just as examples.
I still believe this is outdated, perhaps even an outdated mindset.
To say that these examples can be a block of love for the ones out there looking for any kind of commitment.
Whatever is important to know is that we sometimes have to be someone in a specific situation.
In a certain context, with some kind of background.
What I try to say is that things don’t always just happen without any reason.
There is always more to a story.
But I wonder, perhaps not even thinking anymore.
What happens when we are not able to go with this provided flow?
That is forming a way of stability, a course of life we understand.
With every heartbeat.
To say that all ways of living provide us a certain certainty and stability.
Not just a beginning to start from, but to understand where we are going.
And that makes complete sense.
‘Let me be your lover’, was appropriate to think.
And I felt it.
So, then I didn’t understand that at one point he came in with her.
His wife now and mother of his child.
I don’t know if he will have more with her.
But ok, I didn’t speak to him for a few months when they came in together.
I understand things can happen.
However, I was surprised.
Nonetheless.
However, the side note I want to make.
The older we get, the more experienced we are getting.
The more experiences we are having.
The good and ugly ones.
The ones we like to forget and perhaps hold some shame around.
But the truth is, with experience comes a package.
Something we can call age even.
Perhaps that is the reason why.
Why we are not able to find love at an older age.
In memory of Nikola Tesla.
I believe for those geniuses out there.
The highly intelligent, sensitives and spiritual ones.
Just a few examples I am naming.
And you can fill in for yourself if this is something you feel called to.
At least all of them that are not easily put in the box of the ordinary.
Something I consider myself.
I believe this lack that we can fill is what our predecessors lived and where we can build further on.
In the meaning when it comes to intelligence, sensitivity, perhaps even time and energy.
To learn those lessons, accomplishing what these predecessors couldn’t or didn’t do.
For no specific reason.
I find it weird to write about it.
And I didn’t even start yet.
I needed a minute to think about, if this was really something I wanted to write about at all.
That minute became a day, or two.
Perhaps even three.
At least it wasn’t that long ago.
And here I am.
Something is happening.
And I find it hard to express.
I have been on this road before and I have said things then also.
Is this a mindfuck of what I am thinking?
I can see my thoughts and everything that comes with it.
However, nothing really happens.
I think that is for the better.
And then my life continues again.