Author: Lakshmi

Is love a value?

Posted on by Lakshmi

This question came after I had written my short story ‘Is love a value?’

An explanation that meant something to me. At the same time I had thought about what values mean to me. 

A logical question to ask. 

In that short story I am naming a few values such as honesty, happiness and health.

Not specific in that order. 

It came to me, when something happened to me.
I had said therefore my values have changed. From the inside. 

I also mention that it doesn’t necessarily mean something bad.

I mean, when we get a compliment this is also changing our values.
For the better.

However the process of values is exactly the same.

These aren’t specific values that we know, perhaps just what are important to us.
Which by that a value is created by ourselves.

To say, there isn’t a specific rule.
It isn’t that serious.

And that is perhaps for the better. 
To make sure, those values show themselves.

Where this question popped up, if love is a value also?

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Is love behavioral?

Posted on by Lakshmi

We were talking about men.
However I don’t know quite well anymore how the conversation went.

It came a bit out of the blue, when I said it.

Nothing came after that, but it felt right to say it this way.

Fast and a bit sharp.
To make sure it was coming out right.

Mainly because I was investigating my time, what kind of man that I like.

Because we can see the people for who we think we are.
Cultural beings, living in their own space, perhaps minding their own business.
Dividing their time how they like, with a peace of mind. 

Where we are making a choice for our own sake, perhaps even with our heart.

A journey I have been trying to discover.
To figure out for myself.

Therefore it wasn’t weird to say this.
Have this question.

However, it was something more final.

Where this question started to become alive for me. 

‘Is love behavioral?’

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The way to understand when you are looking good

Posted on by Lakshmi

A story about a woman who shortly passed me by. 

Not that long ago and all and all it didn’t take that long.

This woman walked by and stopped to have a look.
I thought that was something odd to do.

At least that question came rising.

I had never seen her, nor did I know her in any other way.

She must have seen me from a little distance, to make that decision to walk towards me.
Walking by, then stopping to have that look.

However, she was actually making a face.
One that looks dirty, ugly even a little bit.

I would translate it to some jealousy perhaps.

Where I was thinking for a few seconds.
What just happened?

This is how far I came.

I think it was her way of telling me something.
I just don’t know what exactly.

At least this is what I believe her behaviour was saying. 
It could also be something else of course.

However, I saw it as a compliment.

She walked all the way towards me, to give me an ugly face. 

Letting me know what kind of woman I am.

It just told me that I am looking good and she can have hers.

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Can the start of a love relationship be unstable?

Posted on by Lakshmi

How can something that is unstable be the start of a relationship?

And why is this so important?

For the simple fact that it makes it interesting. 

And perhaps that is just important to know about me.

But I believe that it is important that the start of one of my relationships is unstable. And that the start of the other relationships are subject to change.

At least the meaning of what fluidity means, when it comes to relationships.

But I guess I need to write more on this topic.
What it means is that the start of a relationship is unstable. 

Because honestly, what I know and what I have seen is that most relationships start from people that are unstable, not so much that relationship part.

Where this insecurity I felt is leaving me and it would be possible that I would be stable as a person, however the start of that relationship is unstable.

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A positive love message

Posted on by Lakshmi

For me to say that the light I have found in myself is that there is no shame in the road I have embarked. 

Staying alone for as long as I could, to let the world know that underneath all those questions why I wasn’t married, didn’t have children and all those other pieces of advice with the best intentions.

Are no longer making me doubt myself and where I proudly can say that I made it this far.

The world looks promising to me and I believe a lot comes from the fact, because I stayed alone.
That I didn’t get into a relationship for just some reason or got married because someone told me that it was a good idea or any other thing that made me bend to the ways of society.

It is the liberty I feel right now, that I will commit whenever the time is right for me.
Whenever I am ready for it.

I believe this is the only reason to commit and go about.
To find that partner for love or for life.

However, it doesn’t matter.

The message that I want to be known is that it is ok to choose your own path and find whatever suits you best. 
In every aspect of life, not just love.

Because sometimes we don’t know, let alone we know what someone else should be doing.
In whatever way. 

Let everyone find out what they like and what kind of life they want to live. 

If that is one involves being married, with children or just alone, it doesn’t matter.

The most import part is that you are happy.

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A love experience

Posted on by Lakshmi

I thought it was about a guy that I shared the bed with and left me in tears.
Something along those lines.

However, that never happened to me.
Perhaps even for good reasons.

But I guess it would be just an example of a love experience that we know.

Where I’d like to find out if there are other forms of love experiences out there.

Taking away that fear and making me want to go further.
Believing in the positivity that is out there and finding what I need to.

Where I am longing for more.

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A feeling of ‘love disappointment’

Posted on by Lakshmi

It was just a feeling I felt.
Perhaps even that stuck on me for this long.

A disappointment that we can have that kind of relationship.
Entertain it while it lasts and then when looking back feeling this disappointment.

I mean, we can have a relationship and end it for the reasons why.
They can be good or not.

We can hesitate before breaking up, even second guessing if we should do it all.

At least something I did, when having these relationships where I was feeling this disappointment long after.

I am talking about years and years.
Which I hope explains how deep this feeling must have been.

I mean we can come together, entertain what happens and have those love experiences, to make it worthwhile for ourselves.

All those feelings are real and we can find our answers that bring us further.
That we understand we are relationship material. 

Whatever that truly means.

What I want to say is that these relationships I have had weren’t matching how I am, as a person. 

And so I was feeling disappointed about those kinds of relationships.

Was it a relationship in the first place? Is something that is coming up now.
Or just something I believed it was? 

To give it a frame?

Because we can do those things that are part of what we believe is a relationship.

However, does that make it a relationship?

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It is your story, your love life

Posted on by Lakshmi

It is those words we tell ourselves, about others.
That can keep us stabilized in a place.

Where we might not want to be.

Single and alone as an example.

It is the story we keep repeating what we think and like.

In silence, when we fall asleep.
Perhaps even when we sit with those people, who are in that relationship.

Where we think we are so much smarter and we would never do anything like that.
How stupid they are and that we never want that kind of relationship.

Just saying the words, to make it clear.

True is not the right word, since we can not tell.
It is not our story, not our love life.

Instead of saying what we think. What we think is happening.
What kind of relationship these people are having.

We know now that this is not true.

Since it is not our story, not our love life. 

And that is the judgement we need to make.

We need to say that it is not our story, not our love life. 

Where everything stays to those in that kind of relationship.
Where it belongs.

When understanding what this means. 
It opens up for ourselves, perhaps that relationship that is for us.

That story of your love life.

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Love happens when we keep our legs closed

Posted on by Lakshmi

The starting point of all of this is, with advice one of these women was seeking.

I don’t know anymore if it was for herself, that she was on the go to find her answer why this happened to her.
Or to get a clearer view on how to help these kinds of women.

She went to a guy that was giving spiritual advice. 
He was wearing a mask.

I thought it was odd, but when it comes to spirituality it is supposed to be like that.
To prevent people thinking it is a person who is saying it and the words come from them directly.

A way to make sure that message comes across, to not lose its power and have it spread as it should.

From this spiritual entity.
Some guy wearing a mask.

He answered fast, like he forgot to breathe or something.
It made me aware of those words to keep them stored where they should.
When this woman asked what this advice would be for those women out there. 

He said : ‘Keep your legs closed’.

His words were cut short and they felt sharp. 

It could make you angry if you didn’t understand it was spiritual.

It was those words that stayed with me, throughout my journey ever since I heard them.

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