When it comes to relationships there is something to it.
At least what I believe.
So much out there and yet nobody really knows how it starts or what is bound to all of that.
My last story is about whether or not a love relationship is important.
Perhaps a bit uncommon to question.
But I think this is where it starts.
The base of it.
If we don’t understand if at all a love relationship is important, then why should we start having a relationship in the first place?
It is not so much the importance that is making me think, but more that it needs to have some sort of meaning.
That is what this word importance means in the sentence.
I mean, not all words have the meaning of what it says.
And this is just an example of that.
Perhaps another way to explain the word importance in this context is that it has to have some kind of framework.
The meaning of where it can start from and understand for the mind what it can expect.
I believe a relationship starts with the expectation of what to expect.
That framework where we can do the things that are meant for it.
We can even call it a love expectation.
Or how I would name it.
As I explained in my story :
‘What is the start of a relationship?’
Where in Japanese dating culture Japanese people start a relationship to go on a first date.
And yes, there is much to say about that, whether or not this is the way to go.
However, in a way it makes sense.
Or at least how I explained it in that story.
It is a framework for people to come together and do what is expected.
For the mind and heart to get some rest, perhaps even some kind of relief to be able to do those things that are expected.
Of course it is up for debate if that is the right order.
But today I will not go there.
Just something I am thinking about and I believe is normal to consider.
For the sake of how to start a relationship.
Because we can have a relationship, or call it this way to make it understandable.
Perhaps just for the story or for our mind to believe that it is what we are having.
I understand there is a lot unknown and uncertain about it.
However, when I go a bit deeper here.
I believe the most important relationship is the one that we have with our mother.
And that is no wonder.
It is a source to keep on going, to feel safe and know everything will be alright.
At least for me it is.
That it is from the inside.
From the outside it means you are worthwhile.
To some extent even you are a solid and stable person. And that is all welcome to me.
Not to say that I have the best relationship with her.
She passed away some time ago.
We were only shortly together in life, until we got separated from each other.
And there is much to say about how and what.
Perhaps some feelings that should be expressed.
But we can reminisce and cry those tears of loneliness.
I mean, I do miss her still till this day.
And that is all normal considering the circumstance.
However, I am still bound to her.
In my genes as an example.
The way I look, perhaps even how I hold my fork.
There is really no escaping there.
Is what I am saying.
It means that there is nothing I can make it go away, but just to realize and write it down, the way I am doing.
To keep this as a mental note, if one day I forget.
That the relationship with me and her continues, although she passed away.
It is something I am retrieving, perhaps getting back in a way.
Although I do understand that I am not getting her back into the physical.
Just a reality I am living in.
One that is sane and healthy.
It is the words that make them complete and understand, to realize that things can happen to us.
But the relationship remains. In any kind of way.
One we need to learn, or even overcome.
To understand it brings us closer to ourselves.
Where we feel home, warm and accepted for who we are.
Even if we don’t even know ourselves what that actually is.
That is what the relationship with our mother means.
Even when they died in any kind of way or can’t be with us for some other reason, we still have that relationship with her.
And yes, I condemned her for the things she didn’t do.
I mean a relationship doesn’t mean that I am taking everything for granted.
Even if she already passed on.
To say I have this relationship with her on earth.
It is where I rest my case and wipe away those tears.
Since that is all I have with her and there is nothing I can change about that.
Because when you think about it, that is what having a mother means.
To say, to live a life, it is important to have.
A source to live from, to feel good about ourselves. To know we will make it one day rely on the fact that we can bounce back and overcome those hurdles of life that are sometimes a pain in the ass.