I can’t really call this person a celebrity.
However he has a lot of followers on Social Media.
A journey he started, according to himself.
Just telling here his own words.
‘That intense journey started when I posted a lot about my life’.
I don’t really know how it went further.
He didn’t really say so much about it.
But it weren’t these words that made me notice him.
It was a post that he got married.
And frankly you could see on his feed, that he wasn’t posting so much about his personal life.
Not a specific reason why, but more, well I really can’t tell.
Something he had decided to keep his life private because it was involving others.
He had said in that post of getting married.
And I believe we can all understand that.
But it was this picture of his wedding day that was holding my attention still.
Because it made me think and consider my thoughts.
Isn’t that convenient.
Not about why he got so many followers or why he was such a big person on Social Media.
Most people will not even know him from this content, but more what he is doing in his life.
The kind of work he does and how he is explaining certain things.
But enough about that.
I could see that he proposed on the first of January.
And I think I find that a bit ‘tacky’.
Sorry to say it like this.
But it is my love journey.
About what I find and believe.
My thoughts and feelings.
And I think the first of January is really not the moment to propose.
Not even at dinner, with a ring in a cake.
Or at a mountain after making a hike reaching to the top.
I mean, I am probably tired from walking all the way.
Sweat all over my face.
Just want to drink some water.
I would want to enjoy the view.
To see what was worth this trip.
And I don’t think that at the top of a mountain a proposal of a wedding is found.
At least that is what I belief.
You might think I have high standards.
But to me.
I believe a proposal to a marriage should be a bit more considerated.
Than at least the first of January.
It is also that I am ‘not that kind of girl’.
Just distancing myself.
Identifying with the person that I am.
But of course it is nice this girl said yes and they had a wedding with a lot of people.
They were dancing in the middle of the room.
Holding champagne glasses, laughing at each other.
Basically having a good time.
An example of how these things can go.
As I was watching all this, it wasn’t really a wedding that I would want to have.
I mean we are free in the choices to make.
And this is certainly something I am choosing.
But you know.
I was also happy to see them happy and wish them much more happiness.
I don’t know any of them but it is the only thing I can say.
I just wasn’t all negative what I was finding watching his account. That is the point I want to make.
About them or the content.
Explaining myself here.
But what I wish for myself.
I can’t really tell.
Not a lack of imagination of how I see things.
I believe it is just not my task to propose.
It is not the road I need to follow.
And when that day comes I will say yes, then I will think a bit more about the details of the wedding.
But for now it is just too far, in a place I can not see.
So I am leaving it just there.
Up in the air.
But what else I was thinking, looking at this content, is about the road to that wedding day.
I mean, there is nothing bad that I have to say about them.
They were smiling so much and I was really happy for them.
It just made me question what steps he took to get there.
Apart of course from proposing.
Which in its essence is quite obvious.
In the Western World, at least.
I saw a video that they went to a trip to her birth country.
He had surprised her with that trip.
Told her that they were going somewhere else and at the airport told her where they actually went.
Not to say it wasn’t nice.
She cried many tears, because she was so happy.
I don’t know if that is something I would have done.
I think I would have gotten mad, instead.
Don’t ask me why.
I am just not that kind of girl, I guess.
‘Why would you hide that?’
‘There is no fun in that’, I think.
Not for me, at least.
No reason to not say anything.
Making me prepare for a destination I am not going to.
That sounds like you wasted my time.
Well, no thanks.
Sorry for this dark mood.
It isn’t intentional, it is just all that I am feeling about this content.
Just an expression I am making.
Perhaps just something from my past that is coming to the surface.
But if there is a good reason you need to make up a story and make me believe we are going somewhere where we are not going.
I would be ok with it.
It wouldn’t melt my brain and I could trust the decision.
Could trust in its essence and it would be something that I could live from.
Because I don’t want to worry about things I shouldn’t.
I have learned from other people that were following their own road, instead of thinking about me or about the situation, that it was messing with my head.
It is something I don’t really want to experience again.
It is making me sick and I would be losing trust in myself.
Not particular in that order.
That is not something I want to be going to.
Just speaking my mind here.
I am also not caught up in my head, another point I would like to make.
But to come back to this story and the content that I was watching.
I believe you need to make certain steps in life.
Together as a couple and even on your own, for the road to marriage to appear.
Starting with the road of love, of course.
Whatever that means for you.
I believe it comes from getting to know each other, battling some fights, understanding what is the worth of the relationship for it to grow.
In other words, it needs to mark some points, where you can say : ‘do you want to be mine?’.
Because according to me, this is where you can find solid ground to know what the end will be.
And I can say: ‘yes I do’.