What is the difference between a relationship and commitment?
It is a question sticking in my mind.
I believe there is a certain difference between those two.
It could even be the difference between the relationship type and commitment type.
But I will not make it more difficult than it already is.
I was questioning myself if this is something I should write about.
Not because I should or shouldn’t.
But more because of the depth of it.
Something that is unknown to me.
Perhaps something for me to find.
And that is all that there is.
Not an uncertainty, but more that I believe I am making a bridge here for myself.
Something I feel is changing in me and that is quite scary.
The change of a decade when it comes to age and all that has to do with that.
A change of hormones, mindset, perhaps even dreams and desires.
Who knows.
I don’t at least.
Just a place where I am going to.
An unknown territory that I am finding and I feel scared about that.
To be involved and to be in a relationship as such.
I mean, if you think about it, that is quite a lot.
Among many things, it is scary to me.
Mainly, because I’ve also been alone for such a long time.
Where I am at the point that it has become a comfortability to me.
I guess we all know, the magic happens outside of this.
I don’t know if I want to explain further why I was alone, or even felt this loneliness.
Somehow it was connected for me.
Sadness has been a great part of my life.
However, this is also something that is ending for me.
Connected with that new decade that I am going to.
I hope so at least.
But to be sad is a part of life.
After rain comes sunshine is what they are saying.
The question of the difference between a relationship and commitment is one that I still need to be describing.
To make it clear for myself.
I mean, it is somewhere where I am going, better to write it down.
That is what I am thinking.
Because to me there is a difference.
One that I am living.
I believe we think commitment is the same as a relationship.
And to some extent this is true also.
However we can be committed without being in a relationship.
This has been my base for a long time.
I was mainly committed to the things that I was supposed to be doing, that there was no room for a relationship.
I believe even with purpose it was like this, for me to stay focussed on the things I was supposed to be accomplishing. For my own growth. To become and everything else that is connected with that.
Sometimes as small as finishing a story of love.
That is just the truth.
It is just better like that.
I even think it is supposed to be like that in the first place.
It was the time that I wasn’t looking for love. Or at least how I was calling that period in my life.
Because I was committed to the things that were important to me at that point in my life.
For me to complete and finish these parts, to be committed with another person at a certain time in the future.
However, when I think about it just now. I believe it was a time that I was looking for love.
Just not the one that we know and think about as such.
I was looking for these parts that were residing in me, that needed time to develop.
For me to develop and complete myself, perhaps you can even call it becoming whole.
Being committed to myself was the framework for me to do all this.
For you to know, that is an unknown love out there.
When I think about it like this, it sounds so good to me.
It could be that when these committed parts are completed, I can be committed with someone at one point in my life.
That sounds logical and almost like a fairytale to me.
I am glad I have been committed to myself in this way.
The difference in this context between a commitment and relationship has to do with that we start being committed to ourselves which can result in being in a relationship.
If you would ask me at least.
Being committed to ourselves is the start of being in a relationship.
Where we are committed to ourselves in becoming those parts that are necessary to love.
Necessary for ourselves to become, to be loved by someone.