Richness in its essence, it is to understand the value of things.
Money is just a part of that.
Not the end and not the beginning.
Not an importance to live by or a way of identifying yourself with.
Because to me that is poor.
But who I am?
I am just Lakshmi
For the world to read.
All the messages that are there for people to understand.
To understand about me.
My thoughts, feelings and everything else.
And to move forward.
What it is they need to know.
Whatever that is.
Although the journey is mine.
Because that is just what it is.
It is the stories as perhaps some entertainment.
But also for those who want to know that it is ok to follow your feelings.
Perhaps to think a bit different.
To take an unknown path in life.
Or just be hopelessly romantic.
It was something that he mentioned.
That opened my ears.
He said that he could predict who we were going to get married to.
I was intrigued, perhaps just a little interested.
To keep that distance.
For me to find my own answer.
Not getting influenced by his words.
Being safe in my own time and space.
And so I listened.
To what he had to say about that.
The love for a city is something I am talking about in my story “Lisbon Love”.
A marketing trick or just something how it is?
I don’t know.
But what I do know, is that all involves a relation.
Not just with people or animals.
Perhaps even to have a relationship with a city.
It could be.
A light in the darkness, where I can not hide.
Lifting me up, where I can not do it myself.
Positivity where I feel energized.
Or can charge.
A place where we can meet in space and time.
In quantity and quality.
A hug, or just a kiss on the cheek.
Understanding when I am weak.
Learning and growing from each other.
Even when we don’t know how to do that.
To not go over each other boundaries.
Or at least listening to what the other has to say about it.
I guess you can call it emotional support.
To be the other side of the half.
Giving space to be.
Not letting me wait in the rain.
Opening the door, so I can go in.
Perhaps even a baby
I was going through my stories and was reading :
‘What is the meaning of being Single?’
To me it is a moment where you are complete.
Satisfied with your own being.
Not considered with outside influences.
Not going beyond your feelings, perhaps even thoughts.
However, even if it isn’t like that.
It doesn’t matter.
Then there is still something to be learning.
It is that I returned to Lisbon and had talks about dating.
I am somewhere in between.
I don’t know if you can call it being stuck.
Perhaps preparing for something that is coming.
At least it feels like it is near to me.
It is that I saw a lot of content about an American couple.
I thought at first it was about the reaction of the guy.
Because I only saw what he was saying, when the girl was sometimes ‘pushing his buttons’.
There is a phase I am going through at the moment.
I call it getting older.
My birthday is in a month and rapid movements are happening.
Mainly in my mind and emotions.
Also parts of my body that are finding relief.
I am sweating so much, feeling tired for no reason.
Want to sleep all day or I forget where I left my umbrella.
Of all things.
The last days have been weird.
I really can’t put a different word to it.
It was a lost love that made this happen.
Or just a name that I am giving him.
One of many names that I called him.
And for some reason I am feeling a bit sad that this is a name that I have to add to this list of names.
Why I can’t really say.
Just a deeper feeling that something is unfinished.
I told myself that I am letting go of what I am.
Perhaps just for this story, to understand better, what it is I am meaning.
Or that I need a little bit more healing.
It is my mind that has been going back to a couple of years ago.
Where I was in a relationship but didn’t have the strength to let go of that person.