I believe I am finally through it.
It wasn’t fun and sometimes even very tiring.
The Love Journey of Lakshmi
I finished watching the movie.
The movie that I was talking about in my previous story and I wrote a story about : ‘A match made on Earth’.
It was still one hour that I needed to watch and I have to say it didn’t disappoint me one single bit.
In the second part that I was watching this movie, it was confirmed that the souls were applying for a place on Earth.
As for some the message was that they needed to have some additional factor to be able to perform this job. It was for others to be in control of their emotions, to not get caught up by their feelings or to take the interview process seriously.
There was also one girl that I was despising from the beginning.
I couldn’t really put my finger on it.
For a second I even thought that I was jealous of her.
I was going through my own pictures on my phone and saw some video’s I once made.
One was when I was celebrating my 37th birthday.
A little game I played, with people I once knew.
It was actually a drinking game, where questions were asked and then we had to drink at some point.
I don’t really know how it was played, since we decided to just answer the questions.
We had to laugh a lot about it. About the answers.
But it wasn’t much about the questions, answers or the celebration of my birthday.
It was about something that I heard, when watching another video.
I don’t really know what it started.
That I was having these thoughts.
For a second it felt like I was having feelings.
For this other person.
But when I felt deeper, they weren’t there.
I don’t know if that was a good thing.
However I was glad I didn’t have any feelings for this person.
Perhaps I had these thoughts just to make sure I was looking deeper.
To rule out that there was something that could lead to something.
It was something that was said to me today.
Something that I was feeling for some time I wanted to write about.
I was teaching a yoga class and one of the girls came to me afterwards.
She said, ‘I don’t know of the women actually understand of what you were saying and if the class is effective to them’.
The women I am teaching are refugees and they don’t fully comprehend the language I am speaking.
So I answered her question.
I told her that yoga is not about the language that we speak, or that we need to hear all the words to understand the meaning.
‘How old are you?’
A question that is rising more often.
Soon after I say my age, the question is sometimes: ‘Do you still want children?’
Not so much in a sense of dating, but it is the way Dutch people are speaking.
It was one time when I was working in the restaurant that I said ‘I am 38’.
I think the customer was overwhelmed by that number and said : ‘You need to hurry before getting children’.
There are some stories that I am reading.
About women, where they find a partner, that is already in a relationship with another woman.
I am always amazed, because I always read that every single woman in these stories are telling that ‘they shouldn’t be doing that’.
However they continue, because there are stories outthere where the man chooses to be with ‘the other woman’. And this is something they are holding on to.
It must have been a long time since I went out.
However when I think about it, that is not completely true.
It was maybe a long time ago since I had this similar feeling, that I had, when going out like the way I did.
But at the moment I was having this epiphany, perhaps even the experience, it didn’t feel like it was that long ago, however it wasn’t yesterday also.
Although the information I am receiving is about someone I know.
The truth is that we are not together and I have to understand what I need to be doing, to be involved in the right way.
It is not that I am desperate or am trying to get involved, only because I have been receiving this kind of information.
In that sense, I am disconnecting from this and would like to understand what it is that I need in a relationship.
Apart from knowing it is him.
After the realization I found yesterday, that there is a new love waiting for me.
With a boy that I have already met.
I need some time to let that sink.
Perhaps, also as a preparation of what is coming.
And I have to say, the things that I have seen in my dreams, it will all be worth it.
However some questions did cross my mind.