The night is falling when I have this urge for typing.
Words in my head keep up showing, making me spin a little.
Some things are better not seen in daylight.
A dance in the dark where I am alone.
The words as an anchor, shining their light.
The sorrow I am feeling from a past lover.
Heartbreak is the only word left as a mark.
It is those words we say to another when we have had enough, perhaps even want to let down.
Something that is staying with me after I had that last love encounter.
I don’t know the exact words he used anymore.
Hurtful they were, I can still feel it tingle.
The memories are showing in front of my eyes. Somewhere I feel ashamed.
I don’t know if that feeling belongs to me.
Or just the epiphany of what we had.
Traumatic it was the least, it didn’t sound like a symphony how he brought those words to me.
All my mind thinks, what led him to be this way?
I don’t think I have done anything wrong.
At least I did everything in my power, within my control.
Was there a lesson hidden?
Could I have turned it around?
For me?
That I would feel less drained, uneasy and miserable, all at once?
My head just hurts and I feel like sleeping during the day.
Manic it sounds, to be swept off your feet like that.
Cut from the core, for a reason I don’t know.
What goes in someone’s head remains a mystery, although when it comes close to ourselves.
It raises so many questions.
Perhaps it is even a form of grief. By not knowing what to do, then just feeling sad.
A lost love, is what I’d like to call it.
Where all I can think about is, could it have been any different?