A story about a love letter.
I thought it was appropriate for my next story.
But when sitting here, behind my laptop, I am not so sure anymore.
I just don’t know anymore in general.
The situation changed.
Mainly with myself.
Life changed, just like that.
All there is left, is what there is.
Nothing more and less.
A reference to something that happened to me, not that long ago.
Someone that hit me in the face and I am still recovering from that.
I have pain, mainly in my body.
My neck, arm, leg, foot, hand and my face.
At the same time.
Nothing much was said about it, in the environment I was in.
However it wasn’t also a secret.
I spread the word to some people, just because I needed to express it and get it off my chest.
It was all very heavy on my heart.
Perhaps it still is.
And so I am dedicating another story to what happened to me.
A love letter it will be.
Because what else can it be?
It is my essence.
The drama needs to leave my life.
Even though it wasn’t mine in the first place.
But somehow it has become just that.
And I have come to the point that I am getting tired from it.
And that makes no wonder.
Really.
Recovery takes time.
Perhaps that is the lessons.
It doesn’t always go the way we think and want.
That can even be a love message as such.
Because life is beautiful.
Something I need to remind myself.
Because today it isn’t.
I hope tomorrow will.
Hope makes it worth living.
However it is not a cure for all.
And that makes me sad at the same time.
And so, I am writing this letter.
For my mind to find some piece of mind.
How ironic.
The reason I came up with this idea, is that although I have done nothing wrong and it isn’t my fault.
There is nothing I can do to make this go away.
I am still sick and I still feel this way.
And that makes me sad.
So, it was something that I said to someone that wanted my advice.
It was a couple of days ago.
He needed to have a female perspective, he said.
That was the reason he was reaching out to me.
A girl he met.
It was just friendly.
At least according to him.
They hit it off quite well and he started to get some feelings.
However, it was still friendly for him.
The problem was that there was a chance she was leaving soon.
And he wanted to tell her his feelings.
He was going to regret it if he was not going to tell her his feelings.
That is what he said.
Then again he was afraid it might scare her off and he would never see her again.
Many scenarios were in his head and he just didn’t know what to do anymore.
And so he asked me if I could share my female perspective.
‘Thanks for your message’, is what I said.
‘I believe it is important for you to express your feelings, since you are saying that you will regret it.’
‘At least if you won’t do it’.
‘You can write a letter and tell her what you would say’, is what I wrote back to him.
‘Then, when you have finished the letter, you can decide if you will tell her’.
‘It might happen, that all the scenarios you have in mind will automatically fall away’.
‘I think it is most important in this situation, that you express your feelings’.
Is how I ended this message to him.
‘Wooow’, was his answer to what I had said to him.
And that is bringing me back to my own experience.
It isn’t as lovely as this guy that came to me.
Asking my female perspective, to help him get clarity on what to do.
But I believe expressing my feelings about what happened to me wouldn’t do any harm.
A letter I will write.
After that I will decide if I will tell you.