But when it comes to asexuality.
I have actually found something else. Also.
My journey of love is not just about the things I find that come from my love relationships.
Because love starts with the connection with myself.
At least something that I found.
Of course we ‘sort of know’ and there are books written about this.
But I am actually also practising it.
This came to the surface with me, when I was talking with a girl, who had a lot of books.
It was on the same day that I took a picture, on my way to go a bit out of Lisbon.
Not knowing that I was going to meet her.
Because that is what life is all about.
I was standing in the elevator, taking a picture in the mirror of myself, realizing.
‘I was all in black, wearing clothes that didn’t show any of my forms’.
That was actually something I felt like to be wearing.
I was dressed asexually, not because I didn’t want to show my sexuality or was hiding this.
But my sexuality was in transformation, to prepare me for that something that was coming.
Wearing all black, an oversized sweater and even a trainer trousers, that didn’t show any of my hips.
Of course it was my oversized sweater that was also blocking this.
My outfit was all a-sexual.
I forgot to mention even my glasses, that were fake.
Just so I could have a bit of peace and quiet there in my sexuality and also how I was looking.
A pause of nothing.
Basically just me.
Not only a walk of life that I need to make, for me to grow as a person.
But to reset, clean and prepare some things with my body.
To make it all happen, whatever I need to be experiencing.
I hope this makes sense.
Yes, I was surprised that I found something like this.
Ofcourse, you could still see that I am a woman.
Not only because I am wearing pink lipstick.
Although for a longer time I am wearing clothes to make sure it is a form of protection for me to grow and become who I am supposed to be becoming.
This outfit is just silent before the storm.
Before the world will get to know what it is that I will be doing on this planet.