For some time my words were silent.
I had no inspirations. I was occupied.
By things, circumstances.
A change of a situation.
It was necessary.
Getting out of my routine.
To find a new foundation.
The uncertainty made me shake. Tremble.
And cry, just a little.
New security was needed.
My words wanted to be built further on the words that I had already been writing.
My words wanted to grow.
Not just words on blank paper on the drive of my laptop.
‘Where can I find your blog?’ Some people had asked.
I had already spread the word.
But to be spread it needed to be somewhere.
Visible. Able to read.
Not just the words from my mouth or those written pages on my laptop.
‘Some of my blogs are on my Instagram’. They are Dutch.
The English one’s are still on my laptop.
They want to be treated differently.
They want to be shown on a website.
The name still unknown.
The conversations kept on going and it felt like I couldn’t breath.
An unknown pressure I felt.
I could still see and feel the words around me.
In clouds. In dreams. In the mind of people.
But the stories stayed behind.
Another limitation I was facing.
What is prohibiting this time?
Something to be cleared?
I felt doubts and insecurities.
What if the words would never come back?
Staying in my dreams or just in the cloud of my laptop?
I felt a deep pain.
Words can’t express.
Or just this is how to express.
Tears rolled over my face.
In a flash I could see the past passing by.
Perhaps even an epiphany.
In that moment.
The words were telling me.
They weren’t leaving.
Perhaps it is not love as we know, but it is love anyway.