Hormones can be a block for your lovelife.
Both artificial and natural
Lately my hormones are taking matters into their own hands.
Not that I want them to take a walk with me.
But I am trying to escape them.
I can’t help it. I am a sagittarius.
The world is sometimes too scary for me.
Especially things I don’t know.
But I have come to know that the unknown is quite ok.
Quite a contradiction.
Life just isn’t as easy as it seems.
Not to be negative.
Sometimes it just isn’t.
Especially on topics nobody really knows anything about.
Feelings, Thoughts, Hormones.
Not that I am such a hero that I am all going to let you know what that all is.
My hormones started letting me know for some years already, ‘Get ready for some lovemaking’.
I wanted to say babies, but babies scare me.
Lovemaking is easier for me to say.
I was thinking about my hormones.
Lately I see a lot men.
Not seeing them sexually, but seeing men walking, passing by.
However I have read somewhere that sex can actually help balancing hormones.
But for me it wasn’t about that.
It was for me just this fixating of my eyes, that were looking at men.
Short, fat, bald, hairy, bearded men.
No, this is not this song ‘short dick man’.
But just to be clear, I don’t want no short dick man.
I like the song though.
Must be because I am an 80’s kid.
1984 to be exact. However, no big brother to watch over me.
But always in a good mood.
I have come to understand that birth control hormones can be a block on my love life.
However I wasn’t taking any of them.
‘So where are all these men??’
They should be standing in line.
Could it be that if natural hormones are out of balance, it can also be a block on your life?
This is a real question that crossed my mind.
I mean, I found out that I am not dating at the moment, because I don’t really know what will happen if I meet a guy.
My hormones go everywhere.
I can get emotional, start crying or that something drops out of my hand.
And then what would he think about me if that would happen if he would see that?
‘OMG, I honestly think I would get an heart attack’.
Is what I was thinking.
I was getting all hot and cold.
My body was really shiffering.
Or is this just my insecurity speaking?
First impressions last the longest, right?
Am I trying to control the situation that he wouldn’t like me if this would happen?
Or am I talking about a kind of vulnerability that I don’t know exists?
And what would happen if I just let it all happen?
Just some more thoughts I was having.
‘Fuck this shit. I rather die and never wake up again’.
I was saying out loud.
Maybe it’s a self worth, self love issue?
Like anybody knows what that means, really?
Or just society that made up these ‘dating rules’?
Shouldn’t there be any? Are there any?
Should I know any?
My mind kept spinning.
I officially hate my hormones.
I really do.
And I was trying to catch my breath.
‘Yeah, wait till you get here my friend’.
‘You’ll start crying too’.
It is just all that I am saying.
So in the meantime, while I am being all emotional and freaking out about everything.
I am eating a lot of vegetables, drinking even more water and exchanging the rice and potatoes for quinoa.
Because if natural hormones are causing a block on my lovelife I need to balance them out.
They shouldn’t be a block.
So here I am.
Freaking eating the almond yoghurt, that taste incredible weird and bad.
I didn’t know that complaining can be so relieving.