‘I am curious if you will write something about me..’
I was dazzled by everything we talked about and also a bit of the wine we had just been drinking.
There was a little pause, before I answered.
I replied. ‘I don’t know’.
And that was really the truth.
‘I just sit and then the words just come to me’.
‘I never know exactly what I will write’, I continued.
‘I only know either the title or a headline’.
‘I remember pieces of the conversation’.
‘Or I remember things I have seen or experienced’.
‘When I sit and start writing, it comes together’.
‘There is a high possibility, I will write something about you’.
‘I just don’t know, how or when’.
Is what I said to him.
I don’t know if this was frightening me, or that it was liberating.
Just a thought that was passing by.
But then yesterday before going to bed I was on this dating app and I remember a piece of the conversation I had with him.
The fear he described when opening this app before going to bed.
‘I shouldn’t go on the app right before going to bed’, is how he started.
‘Then I start thinking, does she like me, will I get anything back from her?’
‘Is she also thinking like this about me?’
He wasn’t talking about one girl in particular.
Just talking out loud in general.
I could feel the anxiety.
It was a reminder to me why dating is so hard and can be difficult.
It can really make you insecure.
I understand why some people don’t date.
It really isn’t for anyone.
And why should you?
I can come up with many reasons why you should date.
To find love, to have sex. Perhaps even to make children.
But is dating the road to take and the way to go?
Or are there different ways to find love, have sex and perhaps even make children?
Isn’t that too much responsibility for a dating app?
Is the anxiety and insecurity that I felt out of the story he told me a lack of options of dating or just an unknown insecurity that dating can bring?
What I am trying to say is that I am questioning that dating apps are bringing unwanted insecurities, cause we, as a society, are stuck in options?