I don’t know exactly what it was that made me aware of it, somehow it did.
I realized my eye was wandering.
Looking at some random boys just a bit too long.
Even looking away, making sure to not give any attention.
It was this video my eyes saw passing before falling asleep, about a boy.
He was looking quite good and his body was very fit.
I believe a lot of women would find him handsome or even attractive.
I have to admit, my eyes were wandering too long, just a little bit.
Although I became aware of my eyes who were taking a leap.
It was actually my body that was trying to tell me something.
I wasn’t drewling over him, or thought about the things he could do with me.
Although I could imagine women having these thoughts.
However when I was looking at his image, I was thinking : ‘his body looks nice, and it is ok I guess that he is walking out of the sea smooth and slow’.
‘However can he also take care of me?’
Of course I also understood that this is just content being spread on the internet.
This is just my interpretation.
But the message of my body was the following.
I have the feeling I am preparing for some kind of relationship.
I believe the preparation of such a thing, starts long before.
I don’t know why, but I even looked at some picture from my ex.
When it comes to attracting the right kind, it is also ruling out certain things.
Combined with some actions that are connected to it.
Perhaps then, I find this person I want to give a kiss.
Because I didn’t even spoke about being intimate.
However, this can all be a bit too much.
Perhaps I should start with just some food and see what happens.
I think I am just a little bit afraid of what is coming towards me and at the same time I am still trying to find my stability.
I guess all of this is the beauty of life in general.
To find what is good and works for you.
The unknow, I find sometimes a bit scary, just for me to know all will be good and I just have to keep on going.
For now I am still in the process of looking at the boys around me, the boys my eyes want to show me.
Once I am finished with that, I will see what happens next.