‘What is Love?’
A song by Haddaway I have been listening to recently.
Quite often lately.
I can’t keep, but going on the beat.
‘What is right?’ ‘What is wrong?’ ‘Baby, don’t hurt me, no more….’
All I hear is, ‘Don’t hurt me’.
As the beat keeps on going, a vague memory is waking me up from the tunes.
I can’t remember anymore if this was at all a love situation.
A guy I met for a long time in a coffee place.
Where we sat in silence, not even next to each other.
We never spoke.
The only thing happening was our eyes crossing.
For so many times, just eyes meeting.
Fall, winter, spring and summer.
I remember it was a sunny day, I stood outside in line for a coffee.
He stood in front of me and had just ordered.
He turned around, I was right behind him.
It was the first time ever we crossed.
We finally arrived in the same space of physical meeting.
There was nothing else than for me to speak.
A beginning, there it was.
The space of where we were meeting.
To this guy, I only crossed eyes with, for so long.
I wondered.
Why these eyes?
But I didn’t have time anymore.
He was approaching, there was little time left.
All I could say was : ‘Hi’.
And that is what I said.
‘Hi’
It was soft.
That was the end of it.
All the time there was.
His eyes looked up from his phone he was looking at.
Although my ‘hi’ was soft, it was loud enough for him to look up.
But perhaps I was in his way, shook his attention.
‘I am on my way to a meeting’, he said.
He stared back at his phone again, like I never even existed.
I never crossed paths with him ever since.
It even took me a while to go back to that coffeeplace.
I had chosen the silent way this time.
Not speaking was better than words of someone being too busy.
Besides the thoughts and confusion of what that all meant.
It was better to be spared from it again, whatever it was.
Was it Love?
I believe a genuine question.
I never knew.
Perhaps this is why this person was popping in my mind, whilst hearing this song.
All I knew I didn’t want to get hurt anymore.
Like this song was saying.
As the memory was fading from my mind, I wondered.
Is love hurtful?