‘It’s a men’s world’.
A title I am thinking of.
About hierarchy and something I think it is worth sharing.
Why men sometimes need to go their own way.
Why they disappear or have to buy that package of cigarettes.
I can say, it has nothing to do with all of that.
Although from a woman’s perspective it looks foolish and stupid.
Sometimes we even openly say this and ask why they have to do that.
Of course there is no answer coming back.
I don’t know, I just want to clear something about that.
Even if they would provide an answer, it would not be fulfilling for us women.
That has to do with our nature, just the way we are.
The same as men not providing us an answer on question from a female perspective.
I mean, they are not against us, or want to hide, not in the mood to share.
And even if that is something they could, they wouldn’t even say anything.
It is the truth.
At least when you think about it.
I don’t even know why I know this.
Perhaps to bring men and women closer together.
I don’t know if this is hidden in their world.
I am not even sure.
But by writing it down, I am clearing my chest.
It is just that men also need their time and space.
This is their way of giving expression to that.
In their mind this is so clear that the question to that kind of behavior is so obvious to them, they have no answer.
To them that obviousness is the answer.
Just their way of moving, relaxing their brain and mind.
Understanding their own emotions, even if they are not aware of it.
This is just how they work.
Perhaps even a part of their evolution.
It happens all when they go on this road of their own way.
Let me call it like that.
That they need to have this moment for themselves.
So apart from knowing this, I believe it is more interesting to know how to handle and cope with the situation.
I mean, this kind of behavior as such is not a problem.
As women have come to believe.
I think this is where I need to go a bit more into depth.
Because their nature is to have this moment for themselves and women wanting to know what they are up to.
The lack of answer is causing a gap, perhaps a form of insecurity.
For both sides.
Women who do not know what to do with the situation, that men are leaving for a little while and not sharing or able to express.
Leaving them a bit in the dark.
This is where I need to shine the light.
A form of attachment that sometimes feels negative to men.
And as much as I want to explain it further from the perspective of women, we can all think of reasons for their questions.
It isn’t that hard to fill in.
What is supposed to be known about this situation is how to make it better, that both sides can do best in their nature.
Of course this is said from a traditional point of view.
And we don’t have to go too deep there.
This absence of men, is where they grow and become.
A part of their own evolution.
Something so private, they can’t even grasp and understand.
I hope for you ladies this is any assurance.
It isn’t something negative against us.
Men have their struggles and in this time ‘on their own’, this is where they can handle that.
I hope to have made it clear in a way.
The main questions remains, how I know all of this?
I have questioned this myself also.
It is a legacy of my late father.
Who was out a lot.
However, my mother never asked or even complained.
That was something that didn’t exist in that kind of system.
The caste system, where they were arranged married.
Or perhaps that has grown on me.
The point I’d like to make is that I was finding myself out a lot also.
Wanting to have my own time and space.
Occupied with my own state of mind.
I couldn’t really understand why I was doing that.
I felt so masculine, however I felt as fragile bambi.
It wasn’t matching energies, however it was something I was catching myself doing.
Enough for me to explore and find that answer for myself.
Because although I am sharing it with you, it is something that is connected to me.
Where it is safe and can be.
Whatever it needs.
I felt I was close to him, my father.
Understanding his behavior.
That he just needed to do this, for himself.
To ease his mind, to be with other men.
Drinking beers, smoking cigarettes.
Although we all know that this is bad for our health.
It was a moment that he was looking forward to and helped him relax in his own way.
It kept him sane and with his feet on the ground.
Although he committed suicide in the end.
May he rest in peace.
It was his way to cope with his own struggles.
Perhaps if my mother had asked him one time where he was going, perhaps he would have been more around.
But let’s not go there.
The rule is we don’t speak ill about the ones that passed away.
Perhaps I am just a little angry with both of them.
I mean, I can feel both of their spirits very much close to my own soul.
But they are not here, where I can hug them and tell them how much I care.
What is done is done, there is no changing there.
To say that I could better understand this masculine part of myself, that I inherited from my dad.
Perhaps even an expression he couldn’t say when he was still alive.
That is coming through to me.
Something what the worlds needs to know.
It could all be.
The most important part is that men just sometimes need to go on their own, for them to come back home.
Because when they are out on the go, this is where they find out where they belong.