As easy as writing sometimes may look, it isn’t always.
Some of my stories start with a sentence which sticks with me.
A way how it unfolds.
A thought or image which somehow stays, for me to translate into human words.
What we need to read or just what I like to make of it.
The freedom of what I keep.
A creation of becoming a story of love.
And so it starts.
Something came to my attention, not that long ago.
A Japanese guy explaining Japanese people start having a relationship, to go on a first date.
I needed to let that sink.
‘Is that something possible?’ I thought.
The start of coming together is different from what I know.
In Western culture people go on dates first, have sex and call it an official relationship after.
There is still some uncertainty.
Many things can happen before and in between.
What I try to say, dating in this kind of way is not necessarily a success of making it into a relationship.
Just an outlayed path out there.
This is why I was also amazed to hear this Japanese way of starting a relationship.
Of course I don’t know the background behind it and what is more to that story.
It just showed the difference in how we can perceive the start of a relationship.
I started to think.
‘What is the start of a love relationship?’
It’s interesting for me, since I am on that road of relationships and what that all means.
The Western way is not always a guarantee to start a relationship.
A world I have come to know and explored in my own way.
I am leaving in the middle if this ‘guarantee for having a relationship’, is something we want or are looking for.
Which is exactly my point.
Perhaps there is too much freedom, or just loose ends.
It could all be.
It is making this Western way of finding a relationship a bit unstable for me, to find this as a start to having a relationship.
My failed relationships coming from Western dating standards as a success to that.
Perhaps a reason I am single still.
It doesn’t give me this stability what I am looking for, for having this kind of love relationship.
And that is just that I guess.
However, when this Japanese guy was explaining a bit more about the dating culture in his country.
He also said some Japanese people end their relationship after a few weeks, when they find they are not compatible.
Where I believe I don’t need to explain further, what this kind of compatibility means.
I believe the Japanese form of relationship is a framework where people can do these kinds of things.
As this Japanese guy said, people start having a relationship to go on a first date.
Which just sounds sweet to me.
It comes across as a form of respect to come together.
If at all this is something I can say.
Somehow it does make sense to me.
It might release a kind of burden, leaving behind some kind of insecurity even.
When it comes to dating or doing things we can do as expected, in the sense of relationships.
It is more accepted in this way, I guess.
Something I am making out of it.
The point is, this is still not a guarantee to have a relationship.
Just a framework on doing these kinds of things.
A framework to come together and do the things expected when it comes to relationships.
Whatever that truly means.
And so, the question remains what the start of a love relationship is.