A romantic story I feel like writing, something I have never done.
A secret love between a princess and a guy she met, is what I am thinking.
She was on her way to wherever she was going, taking a walk.
It was the only way for her to reach the destination.
She didn’t complain about taking that route.
I mean, she is a princess.
A word which doesn’t exist in her vocabulary.
Actually, when I am writing down this start of this secret love story, it feels a bit boring to me.
I mean, affairs and secret loves happen so often in those circles of higher standards.
Most of the time it’s even accepted, there isn’t much of a surprise when those things happen.
I don’t want to say too much about it, since I don’t think it is something I should be writing about.
Nor something I want to be part of, in a way when I say anything.
It is what it is, I guess.
On the topic of Secret Loves, when I think about it.
It can really go anywhere.
Starting at a christmas party, evolving to finding out someone is married.
Getting pregnant while the other person already has a family.
Yes, those things actually happen.
I have only read about this, never been able to wrap my mind around those kind of things, nor will that ever happen.
It is too far from my own bed, I prefer to keep all the space for myself.
I’d rather be alone, than lonely.
I guess.
However, I understand where people get together, things happen.
The fine line between cheating is there.
Where it is really up to the situation and circumstances we talk about.
I think we have to understand when it is a secret, to understand better.
I mean, if something is a secret in a loving way.
Is it a secret love in the first place?
Perhaps I am going too deep.
Something I have never understood is when someone had for example a secret relationship or a secret love. In the sense he was already in a relationship and was falling in love with someone else.
I don’t know if I am predicting my own future here, where I would meet someone who is already committed and starts to have feelings for me.
I mean, it can happen.
Still, it would be a tough cookie for me to swallow.
I wouldn’t be a fan of this person, to start with.
Where I would also tell him.
Straight to his face, I am not afraid to do so.
It can save me a lot of harm.
I mean, I am not going to sacrifice anything for the sake of someone else’s feelings.
That is really not my problem.
If they were mine, these feelings.
I would take the time to find out and see what they truly mean.
Which is truly the only responsibility I have in that moment.
Something I should find out by myself, in my own time and space and not tell the person involved about the feelings I have.
However, I know not a lot of people are like this.
Once I have met a woman.
In that story I was together with her ex boyfriend.
I became part of a triangle, because she didn’t want to let him go.
He held me a secret for a little while.
It wasn’t a secret love as we know from the movies and books.
However it was a real life story.
She would keep texting him, checking my Instagram and when I was abroad she would go to his house.
The guy I was with, at the time didn’t have the nerve to send her away.
Still till this day I don’t know why he let those things happen.
It took me some time to break up with him.
The situation made me fearful and very sad, I cried a lot of tears.
What the moral of this story is, I don’t know.
The situation took over my thoughts and mental space, I started to feel miserable and eventually also became sick.
I started to do the only thing I was able to do, doing what I felt important.
Keeping the focus on myself.
Shining the light on me, so to say.
To not get drowned in her sorrow and misery.
She just kept on bothering.
Making everything an excuse to keep contact, it felt like stalking to me.
I believe it was in a way.
I never trusted that woman.
But yeah, a secret love sounds romantic.
To fall in love with someone, whilst we know perhaps we shouldn’t.
I have come to know, it never stays how we think it will.
The few stories I have seen, where they do end up getting married, I always have my questions and doubts.
Perhaps I am devils’ advocate, but to me it is about trust.
How can you trust someone who is already in a relationship and says he has feelings for you?
Then I would just say : ‘Well figure them out first, don’t bother me with your problems’.
‘I don’t want to get a headache’.
I am nice to that situation, you know.
I am sorry, but it doesn’t sound romantic at all.
However, I get it.
The excitement of having a secret love is something extraordinary.
I can make our world look a bit brighter, make your heart beat faster.
Where we feel we are on top of the world.
Perhaps even finally reach those things we normally would only dream of.
How lovely this sounds.
In my world, it doesn’t mean you need to go after those things you are feeling.
Because at the same time, you are somewhere on a cloud that doesn’t exist.
You might end up dead, instead.
There is this movie about a woman who has a secret love.
It turns out her husband hired this man to have her killed.
Then the woman and assassin fall in love and kill the husband, instead.
I mean, WTF.
So yeah, is that kind of excitement worth it?
I think that is the question.