I am surprised about some love stories out there.
Perhaps it is an algorithm I am catching, but I am receiving a lot of these love stories on my feed.
Not necessarily one specific feed.
Not complaining though.
I am always intrigued about what there is out there when it comes to love.
It is not specifically one story that has been catching my eye lately.
More over multiple stories and it gave me reason (for myself) to light my view over it.
Most of these love stories, on my feed, I have read are told by women.
Since I am a woman, it would make sense to consciously give my support to any of these women.
We have learned to give our support to woman, only because we are a woman.
To stand strong and put a crown on each other’s head.
But do we really need to do that?
As this is perhaps already enough about my view on feminism.
I always wonder where the self reflection is in all these stories of women that went for a divorce, found out their man was cheating or fell in love with the nanny or coworker.
As sad as it is that these things happen and I believe all of these women, that it is a horror to find out.
But aren’t we telling each other to blame the man too easy?
Before first putting matters in our own hands?
Seeing where we could have done different?
Aren’t women playing too easily a victim role, because of being a woman?
To avoid taking responsibilities they are able to take?
To show ownership and respect themselves.
Perhaps they weren’t aware.
That said, it goes both ways.
What I am saying is this.
And this its not connected to any kind of sexuality.
When it comes to the fact that our partner is leaving, due to a reason that is perhaps not the most natural. We tend to blame.
As this is easier to do than to first reflect on ourselves.
Because we don’t want to get hurt.
Especially not by this person. Who did this to us.
But with doing this, we still stay connected to that other person.
We continue suffering, by blaming the other person. Without even knowing.
We are not allowing us the freedom that is there to be taken.
By reflecting on ourselves first and seeing where we could have done different.
It doesn’t make the pain of the reveal less, but the hate and negativity we carry (for that other person), due to that circumstance will disappear.
I am also not saying cheating is good.
As I have been there and I had my own reasons to cheat.
I think it is becoming too easy to blame.
I have been there too.
I have once written a (hand written) letter to that partner I cheated on.
‘Where were you in this story?’ I had said to him.
‘You were never there’.
‘Cheating was for me a way out of the relationship, cause I had explored the options of staying and you didn’t give me what I needed’.
‘Sitting behind your computer till 4 in the morning, is not a relationship’.
I am not saying that what I did was good, but by saying this I release a blame I never should have carried in the first place.
Cheating to cheat is still wrong, but sometimes we are too young to express or don’t have the human tools to step out of a relationship differently.
I am saying, that the blame that is put on the shoulder of the person that has been cheating is sometimes not always right.
I consider myself to be part of this crowd.