I watch documentaries, mostly about the darker side of life.
I tend to look at things from a brighter perspective than they are.
Watching the darker side of things balances that out.
It is education in a way for me, knowing it is also there.
To see the life of murders and other bad spirits keeps me grounded.
Perhaps even safe.
It is giving me the understanding and knowledge that these kinds of people exist.
This awareness is giving me a vibe.
The vibe of protection.
Because we can not predict the future and only can work with what we have.
I believe it is a protection mechanism that is built inside of me.
Making sure I am watching these kinds of things.
Giving me a sense of belief.
To balance out the rose coloured world I am living in, full of love and happiness.
Of course this is not for everyone.
Understanding the different people that are out there.
Leading to an identification and self awareness of who I am.
All of this brought me to watch this movie on Netflix.
‘Lover, Stalker, Killer’.
But perhaps you’ve already seen it.
As intrigued as I was to watch it, I thought the name sounded quite intense.
But yeah, I didn’t know what to expect from it.
And so I started it.
The way documentaries are set, can be that you have an assumption, because of the information that is shown. At the same time, it could be a turn around.
A way to keep watching.
Perhaps something to learn.
But anyway.
I kept watching, yes.
A love story, so it seemed.
Honored in the title.
Then I started thinking.
‘What about the stalking and killer?’
And I continued watching again.
I will not explain the whole documentary, it was so amazing I had a bit of trouble sleeping afterwards.
I am almost 40 years old, that was something to me.
However, it could be I am in this phase of starting to get interested to date again.
Perhaps it was something underlying in me that wanted to see this documentary.
It could be, yes.
The documentary shows a woman that is being a stalker, but at the same time is reported missing.
The car of an ex that was getting scratched by a key.
A house that was broken in.
Ripped clothes by a knife that was presented on the bed.
A burned house, where the animals were killed.
Even one of the characters got shot.
This wasn’t just a documentary.
These were things that actually happened.
The only thing I could do was to keep on watching.
Where was this going?
Who was this person?
The stalker, the killer?
Oh, I wanted to know this so bad.
I almost couldn’t watch it, I was so nervous.
But most of all, was this person getting caught and sent to jail?
I was hoping for it so badly.
Then I started to think.
How could all of this happen?
I was thinking, all of this happened, because the guy went on a date with a girl.
They had met each other first in real life.
Due to some normal circumstances.
Yes, that is what it was.
He was just at a point in his life that he wanted to date again.
So he went on this dating site.
Apparently a lot of people were on there.
It couldn’t be harmful for him, is what he thought.
There he saw this attractive woman, who he had seen previous in real life and thought : ‘Well, why not?’
Then she ended up dead.
Jezus, isn’t that a horror.
I even spoke about it the next day.
I said : ‘No, this kind of dating is not for me’.
Is had nothing to do with the fear of death, but that there are these crazy people out there.
That harm innocent people, even kill them.
I still can’t believe that.
Can you?
You think you go on a date and have some fun and then BOOM you are dead.
Well, you can imagine that I had some trouble sleeping after.
But yeah, to conclude this story.
Because it needs to have a happy ending.
I mean, I am Indian.
It just has to be.
Nobody should die, because they have been on a date or had some fun.
I believe when it comes to love or dating, it is important to see the reality of what is happening.
Not only what happened to this woman and all other parties involved.
Even the animals that died in that fire of the burned house.
I don’t know how to make this a happy ending.
I think everything that happened there was just so sad.
I even cried some tears.
But I believe some people die as an example.
For us to know who we are and where we are going.
What is for us and what isn’t.
I believe this is not how I will die and that the way I am dating or meeting people is different.
An awareness this documentary has given me.
Among many things.
A vibe I can add to my cabinet of rarities.
And just another form of identification.
I don’t see myself as this person of that story.
However it is really sad what happened.
With this I am protecting my heart and laying ground to meet whoever is right for my experience in life.
Where I keep on going on the track I was already on.
I believe this documentary was part of it, to remind me of going forward.
Where I need to go.
To stay the main character in my own movie, and all will be good in the end.