What did we agree on?
It is this question that sticks to me and I keep whispering to myself, when you are not around.
It is the look on your face that stayed on my mind.
The way you watch me and stare into my eyes.
Looking at me, when I don’t even notice it.
But you don’t know that I can feel that.
I can only stare it down, to not get drowned in your soul.
Since you are looking deep into mine.
Uncomfortable is far from it, but it makes me wonder, somehow.
What you want is not a mystery and I can’t blame you.
I know my worth.
And that makes it more tempting for you.
As much as I can go with your vibe, this time I am not getting my head into any clouds, nor making a wish upon a star.
Not even making any promise to myself and I guess this is where I am letting go.
Now it is up to you, how the story unfolds.
For it to bring into reality what you desire and want.
But what did we agree on?
Once upon a time.
That remains the question.
And I still can’t remember.
That you are special to me is for sure.
The way you start looking for that eye contact, where it tells a story only I understand.
That story is a little secret between you and me.
It goes beyond flirting or a secret love.
It is making me feel warm and sparkle from the inside.
Such a good feeling to feel.
Making me feel better about myself.
Amazing it feels, to experience this.
Just enough to keep on going, to wonder and not think too much about anything else.
It makes me feel dreamy and smile from the inside.
Happy is another word to put it.
A feeling that I want to keep and remember.
It feels like I met you from a long time ago and I just can’t seem to remember what we agreed on.
So I am making a new agreement with the things that are happening just now.
The first time I saw you, I could see you are very handsome and good looking.
It was so unexpected for me, the way you were staring into my eyes.
Whatever it was you wanted, it was without a doubt.
But the way you were looking for that contact was too strong and without solid ground.
I just didn’t understand where it was coming from.
It didn’t make sense to me.
However, only if it was something that we agreed on, once upon a time.
That it was your intense stare to wake me up and try to understand how you can reach for my heart.
At some point I also told you, I was just there for my own reasons.
Perhaps just to make clear that whatever you want, that door is closed and not something I am providing.
However, I did like to have a conversation with you.
As I am coming of age, my heart is becoming soft.
Perhaps also that I don’t always have the time to watch your next move.
It could be that at a point off guard I can not withstand your attempt looking for that something special.
If it is love related, I have to see when that day comes.
So, I am telling you now.
It is ok by me that you stare into my eyes, trying to tell me a story with your soul, but only with the agreement that it has to come from the right point of view.
That is the boundary I am putting.
Anything love related has to come from you and only you.
Not someone that told you or something else related to that.
Then when that day comes, I will see if it is love related.
Whatever it is, you can figure out for yourself.
Only when it comes from the right point of view, perhaps even mindset, can I take it seriously and look at it for what it is.
Anything else will break my heart.
Because who is the hunter is not the question.
I think we are both wanting the same thing.
And that is all quite intense.
But I feel what this holds, only a one time thing would not suit us best.
I am letting you think about what that is.
For you to remember that whatever it is you want, it needs to come from the right point of view.
That is the love agreement from me to you.