Perhaps it was a little bit of a weird thought that I was having.
I was on my bike, cycling in the city.
On my way to do some groceries.
I had in mind to make one of my favorites curries.
One I hadn’t made for a long time.
But that was not the weird thought that I was having.
It was something that crossed my mind, when I was on that cycle.
It could even be related to the new moon, that was just yesterday and perhaps this was some residue energy I was feeling.
I was thinking about getting married as a platform for my ideas that I expressed to the new moon to happen.
‘Could it be that I need to get married to have my dreams to come through?’
That this is the base I need?
A foundation I am seeking?
The institution of marriage?
For my dreams to live.
I know this doesn’t sound that romantic.
And of course, I am also not speaking about love as such.
I am just expressing to have my dreams come through.
And trying to find a way, to let that happen.
I hope that this is no mystery.
While I was stepping off my bike, I was thinking.
‘Who nowadays really marries out of love?’
‘And does that exist anyway?’
I am aware I am being a bit the devil’s advocate.
It could also be just some fears that are coming to the surface.
Because perhaps there is no love in the first place?
What would happen then to my dreams?
However it could be love.
But just not the one I think of, perhaps even dream of.
Because the thought I was having is not so much to get married to make my dreams come true.
I believe that would be selfish.
It wouldn’t be a marriage that would last.
At least that is my opinion.
But more that marriage as an institution could be a platform where it could be possible to make dreams happen.
It would bypass that I need to find someone from a certain background/etnicity, perhaps even age or occupation.
It would reduce a lot of stress and take away the pressure to get married.
Not even speaking about love.
The fact is that it would save a lot of time and I have learned that time is something that is becoming of the essence.
For dreams to come true.
Perhaps that is even to get married.
So my thought is that the institution of marriage could be a platform for my dreams to flourish.
However, I don’t really know if I would be comfortable with that.
But then again, what other options do I have?
It is the introvert in me speaking.
Those are not just thoughts, perhaps not even a questions.
Just the last straw of resistance.
Because, what I have learned, is that I shouldn’t fight the system.
Growing up is much easier.
My only wish would be, that if this marriage happens, that my spirit would be living.