It was something very random.
A bit out of context and I wasn’t even sure if I heard it correct.
We weren’t speaking about this topic.
However, the story stayed with me.
Or just the words said.
It was something along the lines where some cultures think photos or photography can take away your soul.
I was shocked when I heard, almost couldn’t believe my ears.
I was silent for a little bit, I needed to let that sink.
In that moment of time I saw the future passing before my eyes.
A relationship with a photographer, or just a fling.
I couldn’t really distinguish those two things, really.
I think it’s because I have been out of love for some time.
I need to learn to fall back on my two feet.
It wasn’t that important though, when I saw the future flashing before my eyes.
Actually how I felt at that moment, don’t ask me why.
Gentle and warm is what it was, I felt a little bit in love.
When his arms were around me.
How far I was letting things happen between us.
Enough for me to see what else was going to happen.
What was going to happen in the future.
A meeting in time and space.
We were drinking coffee and laughing.
We were talking a lot, also.
If you know me a little bit, it shouldn’t be much of a surprise.
Only when I am comfortable.
He was amazed by my beauty, couldn’t take his eyes off of me.
Something I was sensing from him.
He was letting his eyes speak, it wasn’t hard to get.
I let him do it also, it was making me feel good.
He was comfortable doing that so openly, while I wasn’t that far with myself.
I am still finding out what it means.
An insecurity still to me.
Scared I am, from the inside.
However, he it isn’t really bothered with it.
He just takes as many pictures as he likes, mainly about me.
In my turn I am not so bothered with that.
He wants to keep those photos for his memory.
The one for his camera.
He makes his money with photography.
I think you can say he was a professional.
But from the inside I think he is a shaman.
Yes, I know.
I need to let that story unfold by itself.
That is his journey and something I can give back in return where he gives me space to be comfortable with myself.
I can teach him the tricks of shamanism, I made that journey in myself.
Overcame those fears of spirituality and how to use that inner wisdom of healing and helping others.
At least what shamanism is to me, a great give and take.
A story of love is how it sounds to me.
It took a little while to open myself up to him.
A discovery of myself, where I am still a bit insecure, or finding my way in.
It didn’t prevent him from taking his pictures of me.
A ground and platform for our love to become strong and flourish.
At least I hope it will be like this.
Not just another story in my journey of love.
It makes me sad if it would stay in black and white.
Those are the pictures he takes and of course the stories I write.
I learned when we express it on paper or say things out loud, it will become one’s reality.
I truly hope so.
When I think and feel what it could be, it makes my heart sing.
Perhaps his pictures are taking away that part of my soul which shouldn’t belong to me.
A love, lasting a lifetime, how long that may take.
I am just scared to meet him.
What if it becomes the greatest love of all?
One adult and secure?
Some questions I am asking myself, I am just not so sure about all.
The feelings are so good in that moment when I was seeing the future flashing before my eyes.
And with that I am standing with my feet in the living room, again.
Holding the chair, listening to the person who said those words.
Holding on to the chair, preventing me from falling down.
From the information I just received.
About cultures believing photography can steal your soul.
I still can’t believe it.
‘Do some cultures really believe photography can steal your soul?’
The question I am asking myself.
‘Or can we use it to take away that part of our soul?’
‘To make way for something that should?’