A story I once wrote, about something I once heard.
It was said : ‘the older you get, it is more difficult to be able to find love’.
In the story : ‘Love is love, no matter what age’, I argue this sentence a little, perhaps giving my opinion.
At least I think differently from what is known about age and love in this sense. Where we have come to believe age can become more difficult when we are older.
More about it in that story, where I shine my light from a female perspective and even from the point of being single in my late thirties.
For some reason, I started to think about this topic again.
About age and the difficulty of finding love later in life.
A tv-show I was watching, with the main topic finding love.
Single people with a Bed & Breakfast, looking for that special one.
A selection made at first by the B&B owners.
Where the chosen few were passing by without a given notice.
To see if something would hold ground.
If it is love, remains the question.
At first I was hesitant to watch this kind of show.
Directed, perhaps even scripted for spectators to watch.
I was just questioning if it was leaving room for love to happen.
The irony, since these people are running a B&B.
At the same time this TV show made sense to me.
I mean, we don’t know when love happens.
If at all such a thing exists.
So, I decided to just watch.
With everything I was thinking and feeling about it.
Time passed, a few weeks forward.
The show has something, I can understand why.
It has its edges and perhaps even something real.
I have to say, I was moved by the characters a few times.
“This is such a loser!”
“He is really ugly!”
“What is this person thinking!”
“I can’t believe she does that!”
Those were some of the things I said.
I hope you get the picture, because the show isn’t over yet.
It is exciting, somehow.
To be moved in this kind of way.
I don’t know if that is a relief.
This is where the magic happened for me.
One of the B&B owners fell in love.
He was an older man, she was also mature.
Don’t ask me how I know, you could just see.
They were drinking wine, thinking about the road ahead.
What it was holding for them.
Concluded, perhaps even agreed they had feelings for each other.
Then kissed it away.
Cute it was, to some extent.
Then something happened.
The owner started to express doubts.
To himself first, after a little bit it grew to something too much.
He went to the woman and told her it wasn’t going to work with her.
I will leave her reaction out of this story.
She needed a minute, let me say it like this.
This is where I am in this episode with them.
As much as I would like to tell you more, there just isn’t much more to say.
Still waiting for the episode to come.
But it was something which made me realize.
As mentioned before in that story I once wrote.
I don’t think it is more difficult when we are older to find love.
However, a side note I want to make.
The older we are getting, the more experiences we are having.
The good and ugly ones.
The ones we like to forget and perhaps hold some shame around.
The truth is, with experience comes a package.
Something we can even call age.
Perhaps a reason why.
Why, we are not able to find love at an older age.
It is more a statement than a question.
If you’d ask me, of course.
With these experiences, we can build up fear.
Since we experienced things we’d rather want to forget.
It can lead to a fear of commitment.
Where I believe this B&B owner started to have doubts.
Even said, it wasn’t going to work anymore.
Can you believe that?
We can build that wall around our heart.
Create a space where we are comfortable with ourselves.
However, it can be a mask of loneliness.
Only by releasing these old residues.
Experiences that have come with time, perhaps even with age.
Whether it is truly connected with age, remains a question for me.
What I try to say, to conclude my thinking.
I still don’t think age is a block to love.
However, when we’re over time not able to process those love experiences which have marked our heart.
When we don’t shed those tears, empty that overflowing cup of heartbreak.
It can become a true block of love.