“What is your expectation?”
“When it comes to a new relationship?”
I didn’t expected these questions.
We made a recap.
Retrospect, the word she used.
How things were going, where I am now and what has my focus.
I named a few things.
Maybe I said something about a relationship, I can’t remember well anymore.
“Let’s focus on love”, she just said.
“Yes”, I said still a bit perplexed.
For me, it really came a bit out of nowhere.
I guess, why she guided me there.
What we don’t think about, needs to have the most attention.
Or just something I am coming up with now.
It does make sense, however, when I think about it.
‘What I am expecting from a relationship?’
I think I said it a bit soft.
Not really knowing how to answer or what to say.
We talked about it for a few minutes, where she told me the time for counseling was coming to an end.
“So that is your homework for next week”, she said.
“Ok, I will write about it”, I responded.
“That is a good start”, were her final words.
The question has been repeating in my mind.
‘What am I expecting from a love relationship?’
I think my psychologist meant it in the traditional sense of what to expect from a love relationship.
I don’t know so well, what that is.
So, I just googled it.
‘Expectations from a love relationship’, I typed.
What are your expectations in a relationship?
Some basic things that you can (and must) expect from your partner include respect, understanding, emotional support, and patience. These are some fundamental needs that you should be fulfilling for each other, and it is not wrong to expect them in a committed relationship.
When I look at it like this, it does make sense.
It is good to know some of the things to consider as an expectation in a love relationship.
The question remains : ‘What is it to me?’
A framework for the mind and heart, to understand how to beat.
A softness and kindness as a ground to make it work.
Mental stability to fall back on.
Now I understand a bit better what the question is about this expectation.
If we don’t know what to expect, it will always be a void and emptiness in ourselves.
Writing down or speaking can lead the way.
Or you will find along the way what you want and like.
There is no right or wrong.
‘What are those expectations then for me?’ I am asking myself.
It is still a bit difficult for me to express.
Perhaps something to consider talking about with my psychologist.
A poem I am coming up with.
Sometimes it is easier to rhyme, when we can not find the right words.
So, here it is.
A light in the darkness, where I can not hide.
Lifting me up, where I can not do it myself.
Positivity where I feel energized, or can charge.
A place where we can meet in space and time.
In quantity and quality.
A hug, or just a kiss on the cheek.
Understanding when I am weak.
Learning and growing from each other.
Even when we don’t know how to do that.
To not go over each other boundaries.
At least listening to what the other has to say about it.
I guess you can call it emotional support.
To be the other side of the half.
Giving space to be.
Not letting me wait in the rain.
Opening the door, so I can go in.
Perhaps even a baby, one day.
If this all is considering the same person.
Remains a mystery.
To me.