I was dazzled by everything we talked about and also a bit of the wine we had been drinking.
“I am curious if you will write about me”, he said.
There was a little pause.
“I don’t know”, I replied.
Which was really the truth.
“I never know exactly what I will write”.
“Whenever I write, I sit, the words just come to me”.
‘Either I know the title, a sentence that stays with me or I remember pieces of the conversation”.
“When I sit and start writing, it comes together”.
“There is a high possibility, I will write something about you”.
“I just don’t know exactly how or when”, I said to him.
I don’t know if this was frightening me, or liberating.
Yesterday before going to bed I remembered something he said.
The fear he described when opening this dating app.
“I shouldn’t go on the app right before going to bed”, is how he started.
“I start thinking, does she likes me, will I get anything back from her?”
“Is she also thinking about me?”
I could feel the anxiety.
It was a reminder to me why dating can be difficult, it can really make you insecure.
I started thinking.
Is the anxiety and insecurity I felt out of the story he told me a lack of options of dating or just an unknown insecurity dating can bring?
I am questioning whether dating apps are bringing unwanted insecurities, cause we, are stuck in options?