I wrote something down, for me to not forget.
Love bombing were the words.
I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to write.
Surely it had something to do with love, I thought.
I had to think about one of the guys I shared some time with.
He gave me compliments, which were nice to hear.
At one point the compliments kept going long after we met for no specific reasons and I started to think what was behind his words he was spreading so randomly.
Could it be he was love bombing me, giving me compliments for no reason, to get something from me?
When I think about it now, I think he wanted me to get in bed with him.
Of course that didn’t happen, it just showed what kind of man he was.
Which I leave to my own judgement.
Then there was another guy.
He had been sending me messages, calling me for his reasons and just filling all the space with his actions, so it would prohibit me to think.
To get his answer, for me to say yes.
This wasn’t meant in a romantic way and the answer was more than just the option of two.
It wasn’t a matter of ‘yes’ or ‘no’ I am saying.
Where I was surprised that this was another way of love bombing I found. Since mostly we think about this in a loving sense. Where I believe this ‘word’ love bombing is coming from.
I guess, it is not completely true, just the way I have been perceiving it and didn’t know how else to put it in words.
It made sense to me, this was a way of love bombing as I have come to know at least.
Love bombing to me means filling time and space with messages and compliments as examples, so the other person is feeling trapped and will say or do the things that are beneficial to the one that is love bombing.
Mostly going over someone’s boundaries, only thinking about themselves and aiming for what they would like to.
I think you would agree this hasn’t much to do with love.
Where I started to question, shouldn’t we give ‘love bombing’ another name?
For it to give space, where we are not confusing it with something that is love?
Another question I wrote down.
What does love bombing do?
I thought it would be a good title and also more interesting than just telling a story about a love bombing experience.
I have to go in my feelings, where the cut was deepest.
It was perhaps even an emotional trauma, where I had to cry when this happened to me.
I was alone in my bed. Sad I felt and the tears on my pillow were not hiding that emotion.
Where the doubt I had experienced before, was leaving and I didn’t second guess myself if I could have done things differently.
Because among the things that love bombing does, it is making us feel lonely, depressed, miserable and perhaps even think we are unworthy for anything.
If there is a cure to this, I don’t know.
Should we do something about these kinds of people that are making our life unhappy?
What I did and have come to know is helping, is connecting with nature, staying hydrated and listening to our body.
It might not make these people go away immediately.
However we feel protected by ourselves and can continue living in a happy home.