These words have been on my mind since summer.
A guy I met and he showed interest.
Later I found out it was all in his head.
Too bad, I think.
However when I look at it now, it was ok how it went.
He is gone from my life and for some reason the words stayed.
The word “edged” was something that I kept thinking about.
I was surprised why I couldn’t write anything before and I was thinking perhaps there is more to it.
Autumn is now. The beginning of November, more specific.
The edges I felt were many, perhaps even multiple.
I guess, it wasn’t complete yet, where it just stayed on my mind.
This is just how it sometimes goed.
For me to release when the time would come.
When that is, I will let you know.
Because although I am writing it down right now, it doesn’t say more than just that.
An edged love can mean something different to another person.
Where I truly understand it is just my story and I write down what it means to me, perhaps what it wants to say through the tip of my fingers.
When we had a conversation I felt we were both staying in our lane.
He was saying things for his own sake and I just went with what it meant to me.
I have to laugh about it just a little.
Although we didn’t talk that much I have to say, the way we were talking to each other made sense.
I thought it was quite beautiful, honestly.
When people come together and they have a whole conversation where they are not talking to each other and they feel fulfilled afterwards.
It made me think.
How many of those conversations we have out there are just like that?
We think the other person knows exactly what we are saying although we don’t have a clue at all.
I think that is just funny and sad at the same time.
Because it is a reality we are living, without even being aware.
This is an explanation of what edged love is to me and it can go on until one or both are done with whatever that is.
There is no expectation, no end, perhaps not even a beginning and that makes it so extremely nice.
Who doesn’t want that?
That is all I can say and it isn’t even a question for me.
It also explains how this edged love started.
It was something I was open for and decided to let it.
A starting point, where I believe it was something I needed to find.
At least this kind of edged love or what else it means.
For me to complete something essential and take me further on this journey of love.
Where I had another experience of edge love happening.
The most important thing for me was that he wasn’t crossing any boundaries and was staying on his side. Perhaps even sleeping there.
Who knows.
My mind just wanders something and I am fine with that.
However, it doesn’t go that far and I am quite comfortable in the first place.
What I mean to say is, it was edged he was staying on his own side.
I hope this explains what I am trying to say.
I mean, I would like to sleep in my bed, without waking up and realize I am on the other half.
That would just be a nightmare, honestly.
But it is not just about that.
It has a deeper meaning, of course.
I believe when it comes to this kind of edged love, there is a certain responsibility to take care of our own.
I can’t think about how to describe it otherwise, however when you think about it, it just makes sense.
The edge is where we know what is ours and therefore we won’t go overboard.
We are not crossing any boundaries for the sake of our own health. Perhaps even space and what more.
I think you get it and it feels good.
At least when I think about it.
I haven’t experienced such a thing, I think it is important to know.
It needs to be edged, so we can sleep on the side of the bed that is marking that space.
Where we rest and dream and for everything else, well.
There is still enough to do that.