It has been a while since I wrote a story.
A process of introspect was underneath it.
Perhaps even necessary.
I needed to stay close to myself, to elevate and level up.
Many things changed, where the wheel of fortune was my guiding light.
A continuous change that is allowing me to write again.
In my time of absence I was editing my stories.
I was amazed by my own words.
The way I wrote and even the words I used.
It was bringing me back to those places and understanding how I felt.
I questioned myself, in this process of continuous change, how was I able to do that?
“How was I able to do that?”
I said quietly to myself.
“Nobody ever told me and I was able to put it down like that”.
“There isn’t any background, no thought behind it”.
“Not even a dream, nor a question”.
Where I continued writing.
I didn’t question myself where it came from, to me that was obvious.
Something more deeper I was trying to find, or was looking for.
As you can understand.
Perhaps to leave behind those experiences, helping me in the process to have it published.
How this all comes together, I don’t know.
That I am able to do that, is something for sure.
I am happy and sad at the same time, if you’d ask me.
Where it is bringing me to this story I had in mind to write.
About a village love, where I find out I belong to the city.
I don’t know, long after we broke up I thought about it.
It could have been yesterday or the day before.
To mark how long that distance can be.
From the moment something happens and when we have those realizations.
I believe it has something to do with intelligence.
Something I came up with at least, due to a conversation I overheard, one day.
It could also just be something I made up, for me to make sense out of it.
Anyway, he had his life set up in the village he was living at that time.
He was content the way he lived.
Seeing his friends on specific days.
Drinking beer on Friday evening, watching a movie on Saturday.
Every week, the same.
I just couldn’t.
The only words expressing how it felt to me.
It didn’t feel like a turn off, however I just knew right there I was never going to live that kind of life.
I have a mind to explore and see.
Wondering about the world around me.
Not always outside myself, I’d rather stay in my own lane.
Some fairytales I wrote, but don’t worry the princess wins the race.
Where I have a mind that wanders or I take that leap myself.
To keep the beat of my heart going and express the world as I feel.
Making it understandable, where in the end I find my way home.
You can understand I am a bit much for that village boy, however I never thought about what he saw in me.
Perhaps when that day comes, I will ask him.
“What did you see in me?”
I will ask.
You know, I had a crush on him and was happy we met.
I don’t know why we stayed together or why I was with him.
I was quite young, I didn’t think much about those things.
I thought I liked him and that is the truth.
It was just light and soft.
Until it wasn’t.
This is where we parted ways.
Heavy and full.
I understand there is much in between and to say about it.
However, I believe the moral of the story is this journey of self discovery.
Where it became loaded and too much to handle.
At least for me.
How nice the words were when we met.
“Hee, you there?” He said.
The question mark as a hesitation.
A disbelief, if this was really happening.
I don’t know what I said.
I remember I went to look for him in the crowd and gave him my number.
We exchanged them there and then.
Nobody noticed.
I didn’t have much time to talk, where it gave an opportunity to see at another moment.
Of course that moment came, I personally made it happen.
I texted him.
That is how the story goes.
In the end it went a bit south.
Looking back I don’t feel sad about it.
What I remember from all of this, my life is how it is and he just had his.
A difference where we couldn’t be.
At least this is where it ended for me.