I stood in the shower.
The water touched my skin, my body was silent and still.
I stood so quiet, I almost thought I had done something wrong.
Words I wanted to write came to my mind, however I have already written something the same someday.
Writing to you, would make me a fool.
So, I am writing it here.
Leaving it up in the air, up to chance.
A message in a bottle, writing it for someone to see.
Perhaps it is even you, who I write to.
‘I don’t think we should meet anymore’.
‘I don’t understand why you couldn’t have said it to me?’
‘We already made plans’.
‘The meeting of your friend, the reason we couldn’t meet’.
‘It sounded to me, you were going to see someone’.
‘Just because of the way, you said you were going to see a friend’.
‘I know we are not exclusive, but perhaps not even’.
‘Perhaps it is your own respect, you lost, somewhere down the line’.
‘I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, because it is easier, than to admit’.
So many thoughts cross my mind, when I dry myself from the shower.
I have told myself many times and here once more.
I think we could have worked out.
I know you meant well and didn’t mean to hurt, but somehow it did and I think it was unnecessary.
A reason I can never be more with you than just what is now.
Who knows really?
The images of content passing my eyes.
An Indian Guru.
He is speaking about being angry and that giving your anger to someone, is a privilege you give a way.
How beautiful it sounds to not give that privilege to you, the words alone from this man don’t hold ground.
Because, I am still angry.
These feelings don’t disappear, just because I don’t want to give the privilege to you of being angry.
So I fold my socks, nice and neat.
Continue with daily life, how I imagine and think should exists.
The thoughts and anger slowly move away.
I felt something for you, is all there is left for me to say.