‘Why are you single?’
This question had been popping up in different ways.
Only because it was showing at least 3 times it made me realize I needed to find an answer.
The first time, I had a conversation with a friend.
He wasn’t dating anyone, when I asked him.
I hadn’t seen him for a few months, although we had been in contact.
Him traveling and me focusing on other things.
An intermezzo where we didn’t meet regularly, once a week.
Something we did, when we were not occupied.
We were always speaking about the things going on, dating and love were no exceptions.
He wanted to meet someone in real life, he said.
“Not from an app”, he continued.
Then he named a few.
He said it very surely.
I believed him, when he told me.
The fact was he wasn’t meeting anyone at the moment.
I didn’t think much of it.
Then I saw some content on social media which caught my eye.
A girl who was talking about why she was still single.
It wasn’t an epiphany she had, nor someone had asked her.
For me it all came a bit out of the blue.
Why was she speaking about this?
I asked myself, while watching her.
Whatever she was saying about the topic, it didn’t sound promising.
Of course this is my interpretation of the content.
So, I continued with what I was doing and didn’t think about the things this girl said.
Some time later, I was going through my phone and was checking some apps I hadn’t been using.
It was during a full moon, however cleaning is one of my habits.
I remembered the voice recorder app.
An interview I recorded once, because someone wanted to ask me some questions.
There was also a monologue after I had finished work.
I must have been home and needed to ventilate.
There was nobody around, so I had decided to record it.
Without any intention keeping it, it was nice to listen to it, a year from that moment.
I was saying, whenever I come home I want to be alone.
I didn’t want to be around anyone.
Someone I met, told me this was a block of love.
Better to say, this was a reason why I am still single.
Those were his exact words.
In the voice recording I am saying he is completely right about that.
However, I never told him in real life.
Perhaps for good reasons.
In the conversation I had with him, he continued explaining to me.
After work, when coming home this is a moment you come together with your partner or this is a time where you can spend time together.
His point was :
‘A reason why you are still single is you want to be alone after work, or want to be alone in general’.
The way I understood, this is reserved time to be with your partner.
If you’d rather want to be alone, even if this is for good reasons, it could be a reason for you to miss out on a partner.
An epiphany which made my heart tremble and skip just a little.
‘Could that really be something why people are single?’
As a matter of fact, I don’t really know.
I don’t have all the answers, I was just thinking if there was an answer to that question.
I know sometimes we just want to be alone for our own good reasons.
We need to heal from a love that didn’t work or are hurt for other reasons and we rather keep that time for ourselves.
I believe those are all good reasons when you want to be alone.
That said, I believe it is for those who are not aware, if you rather be alone after work, than spending time with others.
This can be a reason why you are not together with someone.
You have to be out there, before a love can enter your house.
Mingling and meeting are just fine, for you to see what will happen.
Whatever you need to be doing.
To get out there, meet people.
Becoming a lovely person, where people want to listen to what you have to say or just making space in your life, so you won’t spend that reserved time for being together alone.
I am sure you will find something just right.