Lately, I have been thinking.
What that is, I can’t exactly say.
My mind just goes places, sometimes.
There is no shame there.
Living off grid means something.
Natural light that brings us back to our own rhythm.
A cold shower to wake us up, cooking on a camping stove.
Flushing the toilet with water.
Just enough electricity to charge our phone and laptop.
Can you imagine that?
The temperature that drops after the sun sets and the same sun that heats me up from the inside during the day.
And yes, I didn’t forget to put my sunscreen on my face this morning.
The ocean breeze I can feel on my skin.
The fresh smell that is nowhere else to be found, so close to nature.
The waves I can hear from a distance.
The same sound that makes me feel calm, when I am alone in my bed.
Where I can finally rest my head, when I sense the changes of its tide.
While the cold of the night has its peak starting from 2 in the morning.
This is where my dog wants to crawl in my bed, to stay warm during this time.
Perhaps this is just that alternative style I have been waiting for.
Yes, this life is not meant for everyone.
Perhaps I am among those crowds.
However, it doesn’t really matter.
All is just temporary.
It is not just about the experience, but to come back to ourselves.
What we like and feel good about.
Where the mind is going and we can find that stability that keeps us connected to ourselves.
And so I am sitting here, writing another story.
For my love journal.
Where I was thinking about writing something already from some time.
I believe it is connected to what I am experiencing just now.
How convenient.
Perhaps appropriate, even.
The thought I was having to write a story about, was about the course of life.
I was hesitation to call it the course of love.
If something like that actually exists.
A course of love.
It is what this living off grid does to me.
Since nature has a course itself.
Perhaps even love does?
I was questioning.
Wouldn’t that be beautiful?
I think so.
But well, these thoughts about the course of love, didn’t only come from being here.
Somewhere close to the ocean.
Off grid, in Portugal, not that far from Lisbon.
It is the capital of this country, in case you didn’t know that.
I am sitting at a hip coffee place, where people are eating their cake, drinking their drink, chatting at the book table, playing cards with each other or just watching their little children.
Peaceful it feels, being surrounded by these folks.
Where I feel a bit out of touch, I am aware I am writing another story.
For them it is Saturday morning.
Spending quality time with family or just relaxing from the weeks’ rush.
This is where I started having these thoughts.
I stepped out of this conscious routine, of so-called daily life.
I had these feelings of not fitting in, belonging to a certain crowd.
Able to ground myself, like I see others do.
Perhaps that is just an awareness for me to know.
To keep on going and settle in my own way.
Since the course of life changed for me one day.
Somewhere back in the past.
Already a long time ago.
I understand we can not go back, just move forward in life.
What I try to say is that everything has a course of life.
Not just living off grid, in a city or any kind of community.
And there are so many.
But I wonder, perhaps not even thinking anymore.
What happens when we are not able to go with this provided flow?
Forming a way of stability, a course of life we understand.
With every heartbeat.
To say that all ways of living provides us a certain certainty and stability.
Not just a beginning to start from, but to understand where we are going.
And that makes complete sense.
But what happens when we are stepping out of these beaten paths?
Not just because of life happening, outside circumstances or a conscious choice that we are making.
But just because that is the only path for us to follow.
What will happen to us then? When it comes to life?
But more important to love.
I guess that is the question.
What is the course of love?