Sometimes I just search things on the internet.
I am open to learning.
Lately I found out it is also a mechanism to raise my energy, better to say filling up my battery.
As convenient as it is, I sometimes find things I don’t I want to know in specific.
The following is what I was reading :
‘Can Asexuals have sex?’
‘There are different forms of asexuality. For example, some asexuals can still have sex.
Also, some asexuals still feel romantic attraction to others, while others do not.
And some Asexuals feel no sexual desire’.
I was thinking about this boy I was having contact with.
It wasn’t anything sexual, however I could feel some attraction.
There was a point where I was thinking about him a lot and I was questioning what it could be.
To see if there was something more than I could see and I didn’t know.
I couldn’t even name it as something platonic.
I didn’t know anything about his love status.
Our contact was pretty much nothing.
Not sexual, not anything.
For sure there was something. I could feel he was watching me and I did exactly the same thing.
There was an equal form of nothing, of something we connected with.
Always when I was looking at him, I could feel I wasn’t sexually attracted to him.
Not even one single feeling or fantasy.
Perhaps I just need to wait for the future to unfold.
Whatever I have learned already so far, is that love is patient.
Perhaps the same counts for sexuality?