I drink coffee, at a café or just at home.
To take away or one next to my laptop, when writing a story.
When it comes to coffee, there is a little bit of mystery around it.
I don’t really know how to explain.
Something happened on several occasions, while I was getting a coffee.
‘Is there a connection between love and coffee?’ I wondered.
The first time something happened when I was ordering my coffee, there was a girl standing behind the counter.
She looked up behind the coffee machine, made a little eye contact.
To make sure I didn’t have to wait too much longer, before I could order.
I don’t know if it was reassuring, I believe it is something nice to do.
She finished what she was doing.
I think it was a coffee on the go, as far as I could see.
The coffee machine is always blocking the whole view.
Perhaps there is nothing for me to see anyway.
She came to the counter where there was only the paying device.
To make it easier for me to pay for my coffee.
Of course I still needed to order.
Always when I stay there, trying to order what I need that day.
I feel somewhat awkward and have a hard time saying what I want to say.
I don’t know if this is something in my imagination.
We are talking about ordering just a coffee.
It always makes me wonder, why I feel this way.
It isn’t something difficult and most of the time they ask the questions in a way, I hardly have to say anything.
Of course I still need to do it and pay afterwards.
I really don’t know why it is such a hard thing for me to do.
When I am finally there, this is where the magic actually begins.
At first I never knew this existed, somehow it is an opening to see if there is anything.
Perhaps you can call it flirting, I don’t know if you can say it like that.
It happened to me a few times whenever they handed over my coffee, they were looking at me just a little bit too long.
It made me confused.
I mean, I was just there to get a coffee.
I didn’t ask for a gesture of something related.
At another occasion the girl behind the counter asked if I wanted to open a tab, in case I wanted to order more.
I understand it would be convenient perhaps.
I told her I was going to see later if I wanted to order anything else.
“The coffee is good for now”, I said.
Somehow she seemed a bit disappointed, she was looking down somewhere at the counter.
Of course this is my interpretation of what happened.
Her question had perhaps a different meaning.
Order something more at my conveniences, pay whenever I was leaving.
I don’t even like girls that way.
It makes me wonder if there is something unsure about my sexuality.
Is it something related for being single or because my hair is just short?
So many questions.
My day didn’t even start yet, I was just ordering coffee.
I am aware I sound a bit aggravated or somehow overwhelmed by the things happening.
For me to say, I didn’t know these things were an option whilst ordering a coffee.
I can understand conversations can lead to something more, even if it is something not even related to dating or love as such.
I believe when ordering a coffee, I just want my coffee.
I don’t want any question or mixed feelings.
It feels weird somehow to set a boundary here.
I mean, I am just ordering coffee.
In any case, whatever it is.
For future reference, I hope I can just have my cup of coffee, for my day to appropiate start.