“You know”, is how I started.
I needed some time to think about what I wanted to say.
What he had told me was very personal and I could see he was still trying to understand for himself what he actually had said.
His face was looking down.
We were sitting a bit apart from each other, I was looking at him.
I was ready to say my words, but I waited a bit.
It wasn’t necessary he needed to hear my words.
It wasn’t I necessarily wanted to say something.
What he said was enough.
Although the words I said to him are what I want to write here.
However the delicateness of that moment is holding me back.
He spoke words of trust.
Of his life, what he wanted to express.
It wasn’t a conscious choice of speaking it to me directly, not necessarily for the world to know.
Although, it will never be known who this person is.
As the discretion of his being I am keeping a secret.
It is my responsibility to hold this discretion, for his protection to grow, process and understand.
Silence is the best medicine and one day it will be his, to express this to the world himself.
On a conscious level. Where he was practicing it there at that moment with me.
A way I am clearing for him, to some day be that person.
To express, to share, to make him become who he is, already.
Which he showed me in that moment.
As the love of a mother goes to make you feel.
What is needed for you to grow and become, as you are.
Perhaps it is just about the message that needs to be said.
Not the words I felt to say to him.
The same as he was expressing his words to me.
Something I am just thinking about now.
We often want and crave this recognition from our parents.
A way to feel we are loved, belong in this world and exist.
The love of our parents gives us existence.
Perhaps something you have to think about or need a moment to let it sink.
It could also be you want to write down this sentence for yourself.
We tend to look up to our parents, for good reasons.
However parents are like other people.
Just human beings.
Often they are not able to express their love to us and we start thinking we are not loved.
Something I have come to understand.
Even though they are not able to express they love us, or show it in their actions.
It doesn’t mean they don’t.
They are facing their own struggles and do not always have the tools to act otherwise.
That said, it doesn’t give any permission to do and act in ways that are not for our own good.
I hear you.
However with this knowing.
This is where you can understand for yourself.
To make the choice and rise above the situation.
To choose what is good for you.
To go after that feeling where you are loved.
Because although parents don’t know how to express their love or to love in the first place.
Perhaps you need to know just this.
There is really no wonder.
If nobody else can, I am here to tell you.
You are here to love and to be loved.