Lately, I have been thinking a lot.
It came from someone I met, not that long ago.
I never understood his ways and it made me think about him a lot.
Honestly, I don’t think it was his intention.
He was always talking about himself.
Also acting in this way he was kind of a savior.
Where he would lend a hand, showing his better side.
At least that was the story he told, if you weren’t able to hear between the words he was saying.
I can tell you he wasn´t.
I let him do what he thought he was, not trying to think much about that.
The way he was speaking felt he was trying to get something from me, although I never knew what that was. I even asked him.
I think he didn’t even know himself.
It felt a bit like harassment.
However it was confirmed with me, by a fellow female.
Who was also doubtful in the way he was seeking that contact.
I just asked him a lot of questions, something that would fill up his being and make him feel as important as he was already thinking about himself.
Where he’s slow in his thinking, something he told me and doesn’t understand there is someone else involved.
How is that possible?
Can you believe that?
To me it felt a bit stupid.
Strange also and so I kept on thinking.
Not so much about what that was, I wasn’t falling into a gap.
It all felt backwards and not from this time.
I mean, how can you only think about yourself when you speak to someone and not have a clue there is a person standing in front of you?
Thinking you are that important only when someone calls your name and don’t want to settle for anything outside of your comfort zone.
Are you that dumb or just lunatic?
I understand I sound a bit negative.
However, it gave me an answer where I would meet my true one.
Contemporary was a word that came up and it didn’t surprise me at all.
It even made sense in some way.
An answer deeper than just that word, where it showed the phase I am closing or some new steps I am taking.
In a world where I am finding my safety, where I can’t go back where I came from, perhaps only move forward.
Contemporary is where I would be just that.
A container concept for everything that doesn’t have a name, perhaps doesn’t even exists and belongs to a world unknown.
I guess I fit right in there and something I am.
A form of identity, what makes me proud.
I guess my longterm search is ending soon, where I have been asking so many times where I would meet my partner.
Contemporary it will be.
For everything I don’t know exists, think I will forget and I guess this is where I will say I do.