Can mindfulness be a platform for love to come in?
It is a question that is popping up, in my mind.
It came a bit out of nowhere, I have to say.
I am not shocked about it.
More happy that I already found a good title for this story.
Writing a story is one thing.
However, the title is always the hardest to part.
Honestly, I was hesitating to write this story.
Not particularly this one, but more if I was going to write about mindfulness.
I mean, for me it is about processing and I can come to answers that can bring me further.
It is healthy for me to do it this way.
However, there is something in the back of my mind nagging, that feels heavy and uneasy.
This feeling of ‘eeeee’.
There is no other way for me to express this.
That felt good for me to write, actually.
Because I think, the journey that I am on.
Which I called the journey of love, is about finding what is good and feels right.
What is healthy and makes me happy.
If it is love, is not important for me.
I know, that is a bit ironic.
I do believe it can lead to something that is just that.
And so this story belongs in this journey.
Writing does make me happy, because I can just do what I want to do.
They are always with a sense of truth.
My heart and soul is in it.
Who I am from the inside, is what I mean.
I believe if it isn’t with that, then the writing is just some words on paper.
No meaning, no nothing.
Because I write it from this point that I feel something wants to be said, or expressed by me.
I just let the words come out.
No thoughts, no pressure.
I even see it as a way that I can disconnect from all.
Where I can just be with myself.
Whoever I am in that exact moment.
Whilst I am doing that, the world as I have come to know, is passing me by.
There isn’t any judgement.
Just how it is.
It is a time of self care.
Where I take the time to write about what wants to come up, what I feel that I want to write about.
I guess I am mindful about my writing.
That is what I feel when I write this down.
A way for me to understand why I do certain things, what is happening in certain moments.
Perhaps even what is important and what comes first.
What has priority or even what feels edged and needs attention.
I believe all of this is being mindful.
To not take action as such, but to investigate and explore.
Understanding the situation.
Taking out the speed of the common or how we are bound to believe to do things.
This is where I believe we can see what is needed to do.
To make the changes necessary for ourselves and is important for our heart.
Perhaps even mind, body and soul.
When I go a bit deeper than this, I feel fear.
For the uncommon, not even for the unknown.
How people are going to react about the stories.
How are people going to react to these stories?
No money is made with the stories, no responsibility there is so to say.
Just for me to write, because it is good for my health.
It is giving me insights about situations and myself.
Releasing the tension that is stored, when I write.
Relaxing my mind, since the words are coming out by themselves.
No thought process involved, just the expressing of thoughts I write down.
Which holds the same for my feelings.
You see, without writing this down, I would have never known this.
I wouldn’t be aware of this.
How I am benefitting from my own words, apart from that I am writing them as a way to express.
A legacy I am keeping.
My thoughts, feelings, experiences.
That is wrapped in my own words.
A fear of rejection is underneath all of this.
Am I going to be rejected?
All of this is so vulnerable, is what I am thinking.
Honestly, all of me is in it.
My time, space and everything that is important to me.
My feelings, thoughts and experiences.
And then there is silence in my heart.
I can’t explain otherwise.
I don’t know if this fear I am holding is leaving, but all I know I am on my way to something.
Can mindfulness lead to love?
Could it be a platform where love can come in?
Thi is how I started this story.
I don’t know.
I can’t say.
That is my honest answer, at this moment.
However, all can change.
At the moment I am not there.
I am not in a relationship, nothing that is love related in my life.
Whatever love really means.
But that is just another question, perhaps for a different time to write about.
Because I think love can mean so much.
It is not grasped in one word, although it is.
This is where I am mindful about the situation, while writing my own story.
I didn’t know I was going to write about this specifically, just as a way that mindfulness is a platform to continue this journey.
But can mindfulness lead to love?
Or better to say be a platform where love can come in?
I guess, it is still a question, for me to further explore on my love journey.