I am surprised about some love stories out there.
Most of these love stories I heard are told by women.
We have learned to give our support to women, only because we are women.
To stand strong and put a crown on each other’s head.
But do we really?
As this is perhaps already enough about my view on feminism.
I always wonder where the self reflection is in all these stories of women who found their man cheating or where he fell in love with the nanny.
As sad as it is, these things happen.
I have to say I believe all of these women, it is a horror to find out.
But aren’t we telling each other to blame the man too easily?
Before first putting matters in our own hands?
Seeing where we could have done differently?
Aren’t women playing a victim role?
To avoid taking responsibilities they are able to take?
To show ownership and respect themselves?
When it comes to the fact our partner is leaving, due to a reason perhaps not the most natural, we tend to blame.
I guess, this is easier to do than to first reflect on ourselves.
When we do this, we stay connected to the other person.
We continue to suffer, by blaming, without even knowing we are doing this.
We are not allowing us the freedom to be taken.
I understand, we don’t want to get hurt.
Especially not by this person, who did this to us.
By reflecting on ourselves first, seeing where we could have done differently.
It doesn’t make the pain less, but the hate and negativity we carry, due to that circumstance will disappear.
I have been there, I had my own reasons.
I wrote to him : ‘Where were you?’ ‘You were never there’.
‘I explored the options of staying, you didn’t give me what I needed’.
‘Sitting behind your computer till 4 in the morning is not a relationship’.
I took a liberty which was available to me.
A chance I took, for my health and sanity.
Going my way, for the things happening with this person.
Understanding it wasn’t for me, although I explored staying.
I think I came to a point of no return, where I left the way I did.
What I’d like to question.
If someone is unavailable in every way, can we talk about cheating?
Shouldn’t we explore the options and what else was there?
What was really happening?
This is where I am walking out free, what I did already.
Perhaps without that knowledge as a base to start from.
I understand people like to put a name on events they don’t understand.
I don’t think it was cheating to begin with.
Cheating to cheat is still wrong.
However, sometimes we are too young to express or don’t have the human tools to step out of a relationship differently.
I am saying, the blame put on the shoulder of the person that has been cheating is sometimes not always right.
Where I consider myself to be part of this crowd.