My love journey tells a story so much more than just love.
I don’t even think it is about love to begin with.
Perhaps that is why I would like to have it exposed.
As far as I have come to know and what I see there is out there.
People tend to know all about love. However, how can that be?
How can we be so sure about something that is untouchable, we can’t see, however we all know what it means.
I find it fascinating.
Where it comes down to is I have no clue at all.
I write what I think is there, process on the way to where I am going.
It has been beneficial for me in many ways.
A way to heal, to find the deeper meaning of a situation.
Where I went wrong and how I could have done things differently.
Who I have been with and what it all says about me.
The sadness and tears it has brought, to understand things can take a turn.
It was and is still a way to develop myself, perhaps not only as a writer, however it did come to that.
In the silence I found answers, that are also there in my stories. I think it would be a shame if nobody would ever read them and that is one of the reasons why I would like to have the stories exposed.
For me the platform of magazines is just one way.
There are more options I am exploring.
Writing is a task that goes beyond myself and I am humble to it.
It is something I can do, a positivity I find joy in.
So, why not continue and see where it ends.
Perhaps it could be a way for me to live a life and sustain in a world unknown.
However, I do speak about love as a sure thing, because what else can I do?
How can I get a place in this world, if I exclude myself?
The word love means that in its essence for me.
For me, love is an open word.
It doesn’t say more than just that, however it still entails what we want to hear.
Perhaps that is the mistake.
The blogs I read, from my fellow writers, concerning this topic.
Shining the light on themselves.
How great they are, how it is to be done.
I am always amazed to see.
For me it is different.
My love journey is where I can go, as far as I want, or keep it close to myself.
However, I have learned it doesn’t bring us much further.
There is much for people to know and I’d like for people to find out.
For themselves. I believe this is something that is also love.
The way I am perceiving doesn’t say perhaps more than just my experience.
I don’t need to be in the spotlight, I am an introvert at heart.
There is not a need for me to express myself to be heard. I know quite well what I say.
For some reason the thought of my stories being exposed is giving me a sense of calm and that is what I am following. It is making me sit down and write down these words.
My stories are an invitation for people to think. Use my stories as a way to relax the mind, on the way where they are going. Understand there is nothing to be shamed about.
A path I am walking with pride.
Once we know where we have been, perhaps even considered with love, we can make that change for ourselves.
That would at least be my wish.
I am just a nobody. But my name is Lakshmi.
There is no urge, not even a necessity. The additional factor I can write down, but who cares.
They would remain words written by me.
I just wanted to find my way home and found my mother passed away and my father commited suicide.
I was adopted for reasons beyond myself and nobody seems to have an answer.
However I refuse to be mad at the system, because there is no responsibility.
I’d rather focus on things that seem to be important and make my day a little bit better.
If those are my stories, I don’t know.
I was brought into a dutch family, who thought they had something to say about me and could do whatever. Because they paid a price for me.
There was one who didn’t even know why they adopted me, thought it was ok to just bully me and bring me down for their own sake. Thinking they could get away with what they were doing and I would stay quiet.
But that is not what this is about.
The journey of love is a journey of self discovery, not even about sex.
Which could even be the problem.
It was a way to raise myself, to find out what the world has to offer.
Because until now, I am not so happy about what is going on and I think the world is a shit place.
My stories are there to entertain, feel good about yourself and make you think, ‘I am glad I don’t have to go through all of that’.
I guess when that point has reached, it has found its destinity.
I am not afraid to show the world around me, express what I see, understanding the deeper meaning of what I like to find.
I don’t care what you say and it bothers me even less.
All I know, you will read them all and think, ‘Gosh I wish I was her’.
It has nothing to do with me, however I am the one making it known.
Expressing for you to read, using all I have, showing what it is like, because I can.
And that might be the reason why.