Many times I have heard : ‘He is already in a relationship, we just broke up’.
Therefor it was more surprising to me when my friend said.
‘I was in a relationship for a long time, being with someone already would not be respectfull to her’.
This was the first time I heard something like this.
It was even more surprising to me, coming from a guy telling me this.
Because I have always heard from female perspectives that the other former half already had moved on.
Of course there are always more sides to a story.
I never had an experience like this, perhaps because I don’t care about it.
A form of detachment I learned to live.
To not constantly be returned to something that isn’t mine in the first place and to keep the focus on things important for my health and being.
But it did made me wonder, what is the exact time to start being with someone after a break up.
A choice or perhaps even a vow I made myself some years ago, was to be able to know myself well enough, to understand what I am attracting.
In the sense of a relationship.
Of course this came out of experience.
A relationship that ended.
Let me put it like this.
Because of my choice, it was never a question for me what is the right time to start a relationship after a break up.
Because I choose that path to complete myself first.
A path of (self) discovery, that kept me safe in my love journey.
Just to understand, in the end it is myself, that has a relationship.
And if there is not enough of myself, what can there be loved?
But then still there is this question.
‘What is the right time to start a relationship after a break up?’
Honestly, I never thought about it, untill my friend made me aware of it.
Through his question.
But when it comes to relationships, in general, the only answer I can come up with is to love yourself first.
Whatever that holds and means.
And the rest will not even be a question.